____________['[*Moments Sharing*]']___________

Moments for Fri, 10th Feb 2006 :
Well was very emotional 2day, cuz of many things happened tat made me can't wait 2 put it down now... Not late 4 work 2day... HOwever, things btw me n dawn reached the worst stage i guess... I'm totally defeated against my own heart..Tired is wat i can say.. Deep inside me, i'm fighting against many things... Matters regarding dawn, relationships problems, my past...Even now, battle against friendships... my own future...my meaningless, yet stressful life... I guessed i have reached a super depression stage now... I'm completely defeated deep inside of my heart...wat a weakling... n yet have 2 be strong in the outer shell, the nv say die me in the outside, staying calm n cool n happy n couselling my friends who r currently having lots of problems.. Cuz they needed my support very badly... They can't lose a strong pillar like me, 2 gif them the encouragement 2 moved on.... No matter how badly ruined n decayed my inner side has becum, i must not be defeated n stand independently n strong by myself... But now... i'm completely breatheless... Urgh... stressed..tired... is my mental body really able 2 take it all these? not until my last breathe.... Patience.... even though how hurtful i am now... How stressful life can become...even such a stressful work just 4 survival...I guessed...i'm completely defeated....by myself alone....I wished tat i can went in2 hiding now....
Stressful work, problems wif dawn, fighting against my past, n currently the old friends problems... n many other physical illness n many other problems i had.....yet i kept them all inside of me... keeping n keeping n keeping as if ... there's still room 4 many space... Nv revealled 2 any1 else... I.... felt...so terrible... So sick... N now something even hurtful came tat i really gif up...This time is abt a friend... i dun wished 2 mention her name here... She was my (used 2 be best friend) friend's gf... 2day she chat wif me on msn...after so long, since the wow matter starts... n she was so angry wif her bf 4 so obsessed wif her bf addicted 2 wow so much.. tat their relationship went 2 a red light... At tt time, even when i n my past r still 2gether, this prob actually happened 2 me 2... I was so angry n hated wif WoW 4 snatching away my friends 1 by 1... At tat time, we used 2 share our sorrows abt wow matters n now, even from wat i observe, she really changed her ownself, which i believe she lost her true self unknowingly... n tat we really seldom talk much...perhaps of the misunderstanding btw me n her bf... Everything starts becuz of this stupid WoW game... everything just gone... N i wasn't showed respect at all as a friend even b4 the wow matter starts, but i still can take it... Now, after they played so long of Wow, 4get abt me, (excluding Kim), indirectly pushing me 2 my new friends, n yet they can still turn back n push all the fault 2 me o.O!! Damn unfair this is... Wat ridiculous thing is this? All these things, i won't blame her as she was my friend's gf, thus following her bf's action, though its wrong, but i still accept n respect watever decision she judges me as...Even if there really is no friendship anymore, they'll always still be inside my heart 4ever... Hence i wish her all the best n some other things shall be keep inside my heart, cuz its of no use saying out, as currently, she's unable 2 realise herself...Perhaps after a few yrs... she grows up n her thinking was matured enough 2 understand ba.... Anyway, things have gone, n i no longer hated Wow anymore... Cuz there's no point in hating anything, which will only made my life more miserable... Besides, i just hopes tat my life is already so terrible, pls dun keep having any misunderstanding 2wards me... tat i got new friends, no old friends... B4 we make a judgement, do think carefully wats the root 2 the problem, b4 coming 2 a conclusion, as it would b fair 2 every1...Haiz...go 4 lunch...
Didn't go 4 lunch in the end, cuz Dawn's having some family matters, just chat wif her n see how she is... Then comes all the boring work.. b4 i knock off at 5.30pm... Well suppose 2 meet wen, br, wil, roy 5.45pm at doby ghaut, but they were late..THus i went 2 ps arcade 2 wait 4 them...after tat, roy, wen n me went swensens 2 have our dinner..wil n br go arcade 2 play... having my favourite ice-cream in swensens, merry mint =) wil n br joined us..i intro the ice-cream to wil n wen.. After dinner, we went 2 meet Jl n her friend, cuz they coming 2 find roy... THen we headed 2 parklane n play billard wif Br, wen, wil, while roy company his 2 friends... Well super off form, perhaps becuz of so many problems in my heart... 1st time i was 3rd...wil 1st, wen, me then br... Haiz...
After a game of billard, we headed 2 play pool, again i was super off form... then roy joined us cuz his friends left... Then we played until 11pm + n headed back 2 sem.. Well me, Wil n roy went 2 sp mac 2 sit n chat... n play cards... Well Wil's gf giving him prob..no news 4 the whole day... Played until almost 3 am, we headed home...Wat a terrible day this is...

bubbles of sadness.