____________['[*Moments Sharing*]']___________

14th Febuary 2007. - V day (sadness)
Wish all couples n dear readers a very happy Valentine's Day to day... It has been a very long time since i updated my blog once again... Where did i stopped? Well happy moments... Yup just like any sad drama, happy times r really very short..THis actually revolve ard my life recently, tat its really too hard for me to take it...Really very painful indeed... i'm just a piece of stupid paper, but not an sturdy pillar.. Y was my weakest side always so open? Where's my strength? think i really dun have 1 at all in the 1st place... dreaded myself for being such a weakling.. dreaded the whole of me.. dreaded everything tat's from me.. I shall not be able to open up again... The walls i built in my heart, shall be thicker n thicker, cuz i really fear of exposing myself to anything... Shall quietly hide myself well, in the coldness in my heart... THe colours which i give, the strength n everything, i have already gif it a person.. wat was left, is just emptiness n coldness inside of me... A colourless world...
Things changes out of a sudden, tat its really to hard for me to take it... 1 day i think i'll die from heart attack... THis is not a surprise i wanted... This is a shock instead of a surprise... Ppl come n go, in our lifes.. n yet of all, i lost to a very funny "joke" or is it a story tat have been made up to me... If it is so, if i found the truth, i'll be terribly hurt more than anything else... A stranger...is wat i can only mention in the blog... cuz each letter i type is like pinning my very own blood on it... if such things really happen, wonder will it happened to me too? not the giving party, but the receiving party... Will i be as fortunate as the stranger? i doubt so... All the fortunate things nv do really occured to me... I hate to be the giving party, if i could, i would rather be the receiving 1, rather than the giving 1...
Heart broken, tormented soul, fatigue mind n tired body... everything has come to a stand still in my life.. I'm now standing alone on my path, looking back n wait for any glimpse of the sight tat i have passed my colours n magic to... Everything i have done n really give in my best n everything.. all left behind is an hopeless, helpless me... Thus wat i'm left wif, besides waiting, i really can't think of anything i can do anymore... after this incident, i look from top to btm, thinking wats actually wrong wif me, tat i can't achieve anything? Am i really tat lousy, n wat the response n actions seems like proving me tat i'm really a hopeless person... Perhaps such a me shld nv even exist in the world... I guess tat's wat i can only pen down.. if given a chance to act, i hate acting strong in front of others, showing them i'm perfectly ok, even though i wish to show the soft side of me, but fear tat if i show out, i'll only add on to the sufferings n burden the the rest... Waiting seems unclear whether how the outcome will be.. Outcome might be waiting 4 ntg in the end, or perhaps my colours finally were able to catch up n found me? i'm really not sure.. This shall be my only wish tat i'll always made n i can finally reunited wif the colourless n magics in my life tat i have given away...Patiently n unknowingly i shall wait...

bubbles of sadness.