____________['[*Moments Sharing*]']___________

Memories for 26th Feb 2007 (Mon):
Another start of a week.. Days, hrs, mins, secs..painfully i passed my life as though blood is weeping in my heart... Waiting was indeed torturous.. How i wish i nv stepped into the trapped myself.. Too bad i'm caught in it.. Today was suppose to noe whether work is ready, but ended up no news again.. Needed very much to occupy myself wif many things, so as not to think so much.. Spent the day at hm working on the com for my personal stuffs.. Decided to went sem library to study.. Rain falls down again... Y does every rainy day occurs n i would think of someone? Drenched while outside? living well? having happiness? met the stranger finally? I thought of sending an sms, however, something just pulls me back..painfully.. Perhaps countless of sms means ntg, compared to the stranger... I'm just ntg but an inferior me.. Therefore i keep myself in a "cave" n never come out, even though i missed so much, waiting for news.. Always in the heart i shall keep... I really dun have the courage to sms anymore, for fear the cold n hard reply once again... or even no news at all..
Am i really finding only for a companionship, or just cuz i saw so many couples on the street? Perhaps nobody really understands me tat well... Ppl usually says 1 can nv understand ownself.. however, i beg to differ... its actually from experiences tat i get to noe myself n wat i actually wanted in life.. though not really fully, but in terms of many different views.. luv is 1 of them... To me, luv is not only made up of luv alone, but many small, but impt factors tat form it up as a whole.. Just like a jigsaw puzzle, even a missing piece, turns the whole pic ugly.. Wat r these factors? Trust, faith, commitment, understanding, to give n take, unconditionally, work hand in hand, going thru thin n thick together n many many more.. 1 shldn't really mind which party shld do wat, like acting a role.. THis is not a drama, but luv shld be freely... Dun need ppl to teach, will noe wat u would like to do 4 her/him... all these comes from the btm of each other's heart... initiative... Not like the older theories of guys shld do this do tat for the gal, gal shld do these do tat for the guys... I would just smile away when all these expectations, or rather rules n regulations r made when a couple gets together.. just like signing a contract of agreement of being together...
I'm not 1 who anyhow step into a relationship only when i'm clear of wat i really 1.. Its love, not lust nor anything else... just a crush? most ppl have crush... so do i have.. i have a few crushes in the past.. but only 4 true ones... like wat i mentioned, past experiences, both of my eldest sis only have 1 and manage to walk the red carpet together.. I yearned for this kind of luv.. thus i dun go ard having countless of unserious relationship, and end up hurting them when i think they r not suitable for me in the 1st place.. only when i'm sure, will i made the move..In the past, i really dun have the courage to do so, cuz of the fear of rejection, n yet i really experience it recently.. this feeling really hurts... Fragile heart indeed.. If tat's wat some1 thinks abt me, tat i'm only seeking for companionship, or follow wat ppl have, guess tat's the most disappointment i have ever felt...
This is a common sense, tat everything in this world got +ve n -ve.. Luv nor relationship is not perfect.. in fact everything.. including memories of our lives.. It would be covered only wif happiness all the time.. but fill wif sadness too.. only then can 1 be complete.. this is becuz ppl or ntg in this world is perfect.. 2 different imperfect person get together, n try all their best to maintain n shape up as perfect as they can be, to cherish this relationship, which is fragile like glasses n made them as shiny as crystals... Enough of all these emo stuffs...back to wat happened today..Xy called me to go her hse 4 mahjong session finally.. Meet nel n cy at 4.30pm n we headed to Xy's hse.. Omg the mahjong tiles was small -.-! so were the table... die to some reasons, nt able to use the real 1... Manage to take pics to post, however, some prob wif the photo bucket n i'm rushing to study for my mock exam on Wed, thus need to postpone n post the pics when i have the time..
The pics taken by nel was blurred -.-! Thus i oso took some shots by myself. Welcome some new faces in my blog. Xy's younger sis, Xinlei n Cy's bf, Yong Kang. Luckily we finally get to use the mahjong table halfway thru the game.. Well last rd, was a big win 4 me =P Its was 9.30pm n Jim called me to go kof wif him.. Thus play until "Xi1 feng1" i have to go le. Yup i won 5"tai2" n each have to gimme 3.2 chips.. However too bad, didn't play cash else i won a lot =P Anyway rush to play wif jim n won him too ^^ Chang can 1 beat 3 his 3 chars haha. Ard 10pm, i bid farewell to him n study at mac til 12.15am b4 i went home...Though i have so much activities, i always carry some1 in my heart.. Tat's all for now, til i post the photos inside...

bubbles of sadness.