____________['[*Moments Sharing*]']___________

Memories for 28th June 2007 (Thurs) :
Well time really flies..It seems really so long tat I didn’t update my blog 4 ages once again.. My last blog was abt a nitemare tat has been gg thru 4 a couple of days, yet it seems like ages n hell those days were..This explains the reasons y I didn’t wish to pen them down & I start to avoid blogging..I can’t imagine myself typing all those stuffs out, as though I’m using my very own blood to type them out..

Yes..Those period of mine was indeed suffering n tormenting 2 my heart, soul n body..I went thru yet another lowest point of my life..Each time I managed 2 climb up, i fall hard again..Each time the fall, was much more severe than the previous..It is to such an extend tat I can even start resenting n cursing myself..Cursin y am I having such an ill-fated life.. Sometimes I really couldn’t carry on anymore wif such a life..

Lots of thinking hav been gg thru in my mind 4 these days..I’m really exhausted tat how I wish, I really can rest in peace n nv wake up facing all these pains anymore..However, each time I fall, seems like being picked up again, after again..I’m so confused n lost over me..Hav I really lost my ownself? Mr nice guy…such a term, always sounds so nice..But in reality, its not..Its always being taken advantage of..being cheated..being treated like a fool..A nice guy is really hard 2 be..Yet 2 becum a bad guy, though seems easy, but its really not wat I’m pursuing either..It jus really wasn’t me..I’m jus like a lost soul..Help any kind soul? Wat a joke…

Can’t really rmb the details as in day to day tat happened, partly cuz its been so logn since I update, oso cuz there’s somethings I dun wish 2 update or recall, yet I can’t avoid it…Well wat act happened on tis day..especially tis day.. Its still fresh on my mind as though its only ytd..I was carrying a very heavy heart when I go to work..Yet I still force myself wif a smile, carryin on the usual recent routine..

However, I dun wish to disclose too much abt wat actually happened..So will blog abt stuffs only on the surface..Haha..My blog is always so misleading, isn’t it?simply becuz I didn’t really disclose my full feelings to the blog but kept some as secrets..Let me carry on from where I stopped..Ser was still on mc..so morning I sms her an sms, till I waited 4 her 2 wake up b4 replying me..

At ard 10am, I received an sms while I was otw to HR for briefing wif Jul & John…Ended up I didn’t attend the mtg n was on the phone for a very long time..Briefing ended n they were still waiting 4 me, but I ask them to go back ofc 1st..Grace who interviewed me, asked to speak 2 me after I finish my phone, cuz I looked very troubled..After on the phone, I spoke 2 Grace after tat, but didn’t disclose anything much, jus saying I’m very stressed lately n couldn’t concentrate tat’s all…

I couldn’t take anymore half day from work as I hav been taking on mon n wed le..How vulnerable I was on tis very day.. I was helpless n weak..I couldn’t do anything at all.. but jus waiting 4 time 2 pass by..couldn’t eat n couldn’t slp.. My life was totally atrocious..It was totally different now, compared 2 when Ser 1st brought life in me..Now was like completely hell n darkness..It was so horrible..A shock which I couldn’t take it..

Finally time 2 knock off after painful waiting..I rushed 2 yishun northpoint to mtg Ser, as she went 4 foot massage..I haven’t been slping n didn’t eat anything since morning..i look hideous..Reached le, saw Ser..went 2 foodcourt to hav dinner..I didn’t managed 2 complete the food, cuz I really lost my appetite..I looked like a living zombie, who’s soul wasn’t wif its physical body…

After tat, headed 2 sem..the secret garden n have a chat..Had lots of things to say, but yet seems like didn’t even say out, n the conversation session didn’t ended well..After tat send her hm..Will everything be back 2 the usual after so many things happened?I really dunno..jus taking a step at a time.. Didn’t go hm but jus some thoughts tat came over me...Love…wat’s love? Something tat can be given up so easily?stg tat can be treated so lightly?

Love used 2 be so wonderful 2 me, yet wat seems 2 me now, love has taken away my everything.. love hurts, love sucks.. all those feelings tat had occurred..doesn’t really mean anything? Sayings tat love can overcome whatever obstacles tat comes btw us..Hmm yet its not really true in my case..i’m always the unlucky 1..wat I can do now was only placing a time bomb in my body, wonder how long I can carry on, 4 as long as possible..seems like a dying patient, who noes tat his days were numbered..Jus wanna spend his happiest moments wif his love ones, b4 leaving tis harsh n cold world..

bubbles of sadness.