____________['[*Moments Sharing*]']___________

Some Thoughts..

Well I suddenly have such an urge to blog this piece inside here. Why? Hmm I oso dunno.. Why shld I go n make myself being affected again? Yea everyday I told myself, not to go in any place where I got the chance to check on her. Yea, friendster, msn (at times), and even her frd's blog. Hmm if only I can restrict myself from doing so.. Well, I told of posting 1 tot of my feelings, cuz I just visited her frd's blog.. I had an urge of replying the comments inside the tag box, but I refrained myself from doing so...
despite how unjustice I feel, I endure my fingers from typing anything inside the tag box..

Instead sry blog, here I come again, venting my angry n bad emotions on you.. Its not a bad thing to vent any angers on other living things on earth, but venting anger on stg that doesn;t exist in the real world.. The word in the tag box, “heartless”, “living my life happily”.. hmm does anybody got their own eyes to see? Haha everything inside that tag box, still seems to be blaming on me for doing so, killing my own r/s wif her.. Well obviously if any1 were to judge, I dun think i'll be the 1 in the wrong ba..

Who's the 1 heartless to me in the 1st place? In a r/s, shldn;t both ppl's feelings be heard? I already tried my best to give in.. N yet none was given to me.. oh apparently those guys frds of hers is much more impt than damaging my heart.. if true love was there, y was the trust broken all the time? I took great pains b4 I can accept a person (Daxxx) who ever hurt me so greatly as part of her life.. N apparently the same thing happens again. Of cuz I have the rite to be selfish this time..

Demanding me to allow all guys frds to contact wif.. Of cuz logically, wifout gg deeper to understand our situation, outsiders who sees this, will think that, Wa this guy is so possessive n demanding.. So restrictive in the r/s.. But ultimately, who cuzs all these lost of trust? Its not me obviously.. Saying that i'm happy alone? Haha nonsense.. Even if how unhappy I am now, how upset I am now, it doesn;t matter already. Its still better than me having to be tog, and starting suspecting this suspecting that.. And I get all so sad n unhappy.. I can;t hav peace.. i'm living in a state of uncertainties.. her heart was so unclear.. Actions didn;t even stop me from suspecting.. This is wat kind of love she has proven me?
And that's y I had enough.. Oh since all her other guys were so impt than every single part of me, I did the rite way...

How's it like to feel heartbroken? Aren't all your actions way more heartless than me? My heartless was merely a result from ur heartless actions.. I'm heartless not contacting u? Oh looking at the way u r handling things now, I do have the rite to not contact u.. Such a kind of r/s, I'll be the 1st not to accept. Nid to list down? A nice decent ger, wouldn;t allow any guy frd to her hse, n even to her rm.. Of cuz I'm the kind of guy who prefers my gf to have close female frds instead of such kind of frds.. if a ger's hse, any guy oso can enter, wat more can I say? To top off that, she broke my trust..

Other than tat, wat other heartless things she has does to the r/s? Dun think I dunno abt the audi stuffs.. tenma_”something”. Cyber world is just a lamest things.. Couple wif anybody, go flirt ard oso can. I have completely lost my trust in the ppl inside the cyber world.. This is oso part of the reason y, I stop playing audi for a long time already. I rather play some guys dominant games, n watch anime on my own, drowning myself inside romance anime “chobits”, than to drown myself in such kind of complicated fake world..

other kind of heartless things? Needless to say, jer*** is 1 very main person, wifout using words to explain. I never did such kind of things to let down a r/s.. Yet such a thign happened to me in my r/s.. not once, but TWICE by the same person.. Do I sound happy? Haha this only shows how poor a person who fails to understand me.. I'm drowning myself n tore apart by such crude memories.. genting memories, Spa memories.. I'm actually influenced n ya doing some activities alone, which I done b4 wif her in the past..

happy or not, just let ppl decide n say wat they 1.. All I can say is, a person who truly loves me, wont hurt me the way she hurts me.. Everything abt her is so impt. Pride, egoness, face, loving herself, her guys frds, her female frds, claiming credits on the things she did 4 me, etc etc...sounding as though she really loved n cared a lot abt me, wifout thinking abt the wrongful things she has done to me.. All these hurts n pains, I have given up fighting, its time to protect myself from getting anymore harms instead.i wasnt protected security in the r/s, I have to start protect myself, I have to start caring abt myself..

I keep telling myself, if the love is true in the 1st place, dun nid to wait until so much pains n be tog.. Even tog le, only start blaming me for not cherishing.. which if be judged, who's not cherishing who? I already got so much stress on my own side, yet I;m still faced in such kind of r/s.. love can;t be forced.. there's no point in a 1 sided r/s.. tat's the reason y I choose to be alone, then to be hurt by all these problems.. instead of lighten my worries, I got double instead...

I prefer a decent, real simple ger, who dun have any close guy frds, but female frds.. imagine me having to wait for my gf to reply my sms, while she's juggling my sms tog wif other guys frds.. This is 1 of the most ridiculous things that can ever happened..i better paused.. haven;t been so bad emo lately.. shall break here n continue wat I have to blog...

bubbles of sadness.