____________['[*Moments Sharing*]']___________

(14/11/08) Friday
Back to blog once again.. Weird though cuz I would be expected to be away for a very long time due to my reservist, but here I am, nv expect to return so fast though. After so many ordeal, I managed to defer my NS finally.. hmm but whether its gd or bad, I really dunno...think both sides, be it in army or at work, I dreaded them all.. Back to where I stopped.. I went back to clear my work..
I planned to leave early a bit from work, but end up, this boss again... gimme more things to clear.. So no choice, stayed until later a bit than 6pm n I went off to amk hub.. Well Ser wans to mit me b4 I went to army.. I reached there early, went to buy movie ticket.watched madagascar 2, 8.30pm show..Then went arrived, went to ichiban sushi to have dinner.. Not bad the food there but its quite ex though..
After dinner, its abt time 4 the movie, hence headed to the cinema.. The movie was not bad. Quite funny n nice.. so I shall gif it 8/10 ba.. It was ard 10pm when the movie ended, hence we decided to head to lan shop to play audi.. Hmm surprise that there's not many ppl in the VIP room, cuz everybody wans the package outside the VIP rm, 10 bucks from 12am – 8am.. hmm I doubt I can play so long anymore, burning my lifespan away like tat..
We play till abt 2.45am b4 sending her hm.. That's all I can say for today.

(15/11/08) Saturday
Already planned initially to mit ben n wil out.. I was so tired that I slp thruout the day.. Think is ard 1 pm or so then I manage to wake up? Well called ben only to be told that he's sick, so the mtg was cancelled.. No choice I have to phone wil to discuss wif him on wat to do.. End up we decided to go for number snooker.. Can't really rmb wat time we mit, but If I rmb correctly, I saw kw at the arcade, then we played kof tog..
Hehe playing kof wif kw Is getting more fun le.. but too bad, he dun wan to chg more to challenge wif me, hence me n wil leave arcade. Since I haven't had my lunch n breakfast, went to eat early dinner. Country Manna again, since its gg to be away soon. After eating, then we proceed to AMK hub to play our snooker game.. Sian lo, I dunno y this time I lose like mad.. really lose a lot.. play till ard 11+..
Ser came to find me for the 1st time after she came from mtg her frd, joey.. Well after she come, we r playing the last game cuz not gd to let her sit there do ntg.. But its only this last game where I win the most..recover a little of my losses..win 7 bucks in this rd.. but overall I pay 4 most of the matches..while wil only nid to pay 35cents for the entire game? Sian lo really lose a lot..
Then since Ser come awhile only like wasted trip, so we headed to mac to play cards.. Wow, 1st time Ser play wif us, she actually win 24 bucks from wil.. Then I win ard 22 bucks from wil? So end up wil transfer the 24 I owe him, to Ser.. After which, we headed hm by cab...Tat's abt it for the day..

(16/11/08) Sunday
The last day b4 I headed down to army for reservist le.. planned to go 4 k lunch wif Ser at 12pm.. Ended up for some reasons, she's late... Dun wish to talk abt it.. Sing until 3pm, hmm got quite a number of songs I would like to hear, but can only hear in k-session cuz I dun no how to find those songs from the net n dl them to my hp..Then we headed down to cut my hair..
After deciding many places, ended up at Jean Yip Salon at Amk hub.. the hair cut cost 24..ex hor.. but tat guy persuade me to sign up a package of 7 sessions.. cuz the original price Is 30 bucks.. since its unlimited time, I take the package, but promise to pay the remaining 100 bucks upon the next visit.. I was even persuaded to buy the shampoo from them.. since my hse shampoo is running low, I decided to purchase 1..
Ser took the treatment costing 128.. plus the shampoo n another bottle, it cost 166... scary.. then after which, we headed down to cityhall to find the army market at beach rd.. its the 1st time I actually go there.. so took us quite some time to find it.. after tat cuz she's very hungry, so we just find the hawker there n eat dinner b4 heading down to doby ghaut where we decide to c if there's any movie available..
since there's no movie, we find a place to rest awhile n catch fantastic 4 shown on the display tv.. since there's ntg left n tml need to wake up early, so we headed to take train hm..send her hm, b4 gg back to prepare n pack my army stuffs..took me quite some time b4 i'm done preparing n headed to bed..

(17/11/08) Monday
1 of the worst day.. I actually over slp.. cuz I was too tired.. need to report to camp at 7.30am.. ended up I woke up at 6.30am.. then drag myself to prepare n left hse at 7am? Then I reach boon lay mrt, I wanted to take a cab down, but was unlucky as the queue was so long, n the traffic seems congested.. end up I decided to call the cab, but turn out tat I have to wait 4 10-12 mins.. then suddenly my stomach was so painful..
I rushed to the nearby shopping centre to relieve myself.. n just nice, not long after i'm back to the taxt stand, the cab arrived..boarded the cab, the driver explained to me y there's a traffic jam, due to accident ahead.. ended up the driver tried to make a detour n end up oso congested..zz reach the camp n the cab fare sure is very ex..I booked in at 8.19am.. My hair cut was being called twice... but due to me trying to defer, so the asked me to report 1st n waited in the rm..
Find some familiar faces there.. 1 of my ex camp mate.. then 1 junior n some other ppl who were trying to defer.. Well we all headed 1 by 1.. and most defer request were rejected.. obviously, mine was rejected too.. sian lo.. that col in the rm, he talk a lot but ended up just refuse to defer me.. I told him abt my medical condition, specialist letter etc n my past few encounters at the medical centre... all was invalid..
Then told him abt my nite classes he oso say depends.. well nobody is gonna pay me back for the lessons which I have lost.. he can say so lightly.. then I have a physio appt on 26th Nov he oso ask me to postpone it.. Hence I just have to go to report to my officer commanding for the reservist.. Headed there leaded by Mdm Jo. The OC told me that since I can't well no 4, its not possible to wear admin attire thruout the reservist, esp during the ops period..So since he can't really decide anything, so just ask me to go to medical centre to report sick again...
Sian, I have to travel ard here n there in camp.. I follow mdm Jo to her ofc, put my things down, then headed to the emart to buy the admin attire n slippers as instructed by mdm Jo..Went there the slippers need cash of 3.90.. I chg everything n report back to her.. end up she says its the wrong shoe.. it shoe be the army sandals.. wa..she told me is slippers lo.. so I headed back to the emart, quite a distance away to buy the sandals..
since its already lunch hrs, I hav my lunch at the canteen near the emart.. the food there..looks nice, but doesn't really taste gd.. after which, I headed back to her ofc, but nobody was ard.. my appt at medical centre was 1.30pm.. ended up it was 1.19pm, n still no news from them, I decided to head down to the medical centre, which is freaking far to report sick as instructed..
As usual...from 1pm +..i waited until 3pm+ then only its my turn to go n c the same MO.. wa this MO really very attitude.. I really can't stand him.. anyway he still dun wan to gimme any excuse..just say i'll be downgraded n write a memo to the OC and let him decide to defer or not.. N i'm out from the rm.. And then, for this freaking memo from this MO, I waited super long again until its almost 5pm..
Then I walked a long distance back to Mdm Jo's ofc.. Her assistant is there this time.. told me tat she's away so have to wait 4 her.. awhile ltr, she came back n quickly she told the assistant to bring me to c oc.. luckily the OC is almost abt to book out already.. OC upon looking at the letter, says tell me to out process from the reservist..Then we headed back to her ofc again n she say need oc's signature.. but too bad oc has left..
So we just headed back to the main ofc frontdesk, where the make arrangement for the outprocess issue.. then waited until its 5.40 then finally me n the assistant left the ofc n took a cab tog..he live at simei, but since its along the way, so he drop me at boon lay mrt.. Well, during this trip, I noe ppl working at great eastern n prudential.. hmm is working this line really so successful like them? But of cuz they have down times la..
other than tat, the assistant, he is a freelance IT..i learn something from him wif regards to self employment, working as free lance.. it really adds on to my options as to where I can choose to develop my career in future.. anyway out a stop to this army stuffs ba.. After then, I headed the mrt to marsiling to mit Ser where she finish her work.. She companied me to Sun plaza at Sem, treated me 4 dinner..
Went Country Manna again, where we share the meal 4 2 n the nice Soup at Country Manna.. After which, we went to buy movie tickets, watch The Good, The Bad & the Weird korean comedy movie.. since there's time, cuz its 9.15 show, we headed down to arcade to play a while n walk ard at other shops too.. well this movie is funny, not bad.. not like those korean movies I watched n regretted.. this 1 is great.. I shall rated it 8/10 ba..
Then the time was so late n its time to part.. cuz i'm carrying so many things, we took cab where she drop me along the way n she headed hm.. can't sent her hm as the things really too heavy le... all those army stuffs... called her to make sure she reach hm safely.. b4 I washed up n prepare 4 nxt day's work.. Tue's got some bad feelings but I keep surpressing them inside my heart..

(18/11/08) Tuesday
Expected the bad things really do happened.. Well some1 was mtg a frd after work 4 dinner.. I actually dun agree initally dun to so many bad experiences n incidents from the past that makes me feel so -ve.. No choice since the mtg was arranged few weeks ago, so I have no choice but to agree to it.. morning I ask to send an MMS to me, ended up the services was down or wat?No MMS was received...
Besides.. the me now, can only believe wat I c wif my very own eyes.. Hence wat I need or see was proof n evidences to support the explaination but ntg else.. Then in the morning I actually bought a packet of noodle.. after eating, my stomach feel super discomfort.. I think this coul dbe due to unheallthy food intake.. cuz the shop, got hsefly flying ard the food lo.. regret eating tat.. so I dun feel well...from tummy it makes my limbs cold.. then I feel feverish n headache..
I sms her during her lunch time.. but it seems like the attention wasn;t there.. not really attentive to me, but only reply abt the date wif that frd.. it makes my condition worst n i'm very paranoid.. y everytime when i'm sick or not feel well, little attention was always given to me? Then end up I found out tat she's discussing wif tat frd abt where to go n the cravings for IKEA's meat ball.. it makes me fuming hot..
The attention wasn;t really on me.. can actually miss out the sms, where I told her i'm not feeling well.. its not as if she's bz at work, but its out on lunch... I even quesntion her several times abt the frd coming over to fetch her by car or not, she oso nv ans.. finally she admit tat guy coming over, despite promising me tat she will go by herself 4 the mtg.. Ended up I was so disappointed.. Besides mtg place I tot is tat frd arrange de.. ended up its her who arrange such a far place..
Just cuz he got car.. Ended up she tried to reassure me of taking cab hm after the mtg, but would I believe.. I'm so disappointed that the trust was broken once again.. even if i'm tat frd, I wouldn;t even allow her to take cab hm, but drove her hm instead.. Y always treat me like tat? I feel so helpless n sick.. didn;t go to sch.. I dragged myself hm.. I vomit during work, n was super sick..
She didn't cared abt me, but choose to argue wif me.. car has been seated..although ya true.. she reached hm quite early.. but its the trust tat has been broken.. once again.. y doesn't every happy moment always so short? If wan gimme happy moments, gif it consistantly..y doesn;t it always have to depend on the mood? Y got other ppl le, always treat me like tis? I really dun understand.. its so hard 4 me to bear..
I layed in bed the moment I reach hm...didn;t eat anything.. cuz my stomach seems bloated or wat.. I oso dunno.. tat morning's noodle is the latest meal I took..apart from lunch I took watermelon n papaya only, thinking tat eating fruits can help me digest..end up worst.. feverish, I lied on bed...but ended up instead of resting..it quarrel again.. I'm so disappointed by her treated n she cried.. she scolded me...
everything becomes my fault again.. she say she's very suffering.. all this..so do I.. she said she tried her best.. if tried her best, y let such thing happened again? Then accuse me, accused tat.. say I dump her.. or wat.. I didn't.. but how? Always break trust, how? I can;t be the 1 suffering there n let her do watever she likes rite?end up she cried so badly I think her family hates me more..
Can;t imagine tat.. So sick lying on bed already, yet i'm stilll dealing wif this situation.. my mum scolded me asking me want to scrub my back or not.. ended up, i'm on the phone 4 several hrs.. 1st was chatting wif her, ended up she hangs my phone, I called her hse.. I feel so terrible, I talked to her niece janice, abt how bad I feel, how terrible n how suffering I really feel.. haven't spoken to anybody abt this 4 a very long time..
Having chatting wif her..i feel much better.. then chat wif her again... once again, cry.. everything seems like onlly my fault only.. She doesn;t even sees anything in herself tat cuz me to be so depressed n cuz the dmg wif the r/s.. all she sees was only me quarreling wif her n she feel so terrible abt it.. She doesn;t even sees in herself tat wat's the cuz of the quarrel or wat r the main factors tat disturb the peaceful condition in the r/s.. She just nv sees nor understands... I feel so terrible I really dunno wat to do..
it seems like 4 me to be wif her, I need to suffer alone..if I can;t take it, quarrel wif her, ended up it gets worst.. either I suffer, or both suffer..this is terrible.. This isn't the kind of r/s i'm looking fwd to.. i'm so lost.. I nid some1 who's able to tc of me as well as I tc of her.. I nid some 1 who's understanding n totful towards each other.. understand each other's feelings n noes wat ought to do tat helps the r/s, what ought not to do, tat harms the r/s.. not just care abt ownself's needs or wants..do watever ownself like, wifout sparing a tot 4 the other partner...
Its so terrible..end up took 11pm to end the call.. n I drag myself up to wait outside watching tv drama whil emy mum watch the drama, n settle the baby niece stuffs.. until ard 12am or so then only she scrub my back 4 me.. in return she scolds me, say I so sick, early ask wan scrub back or not, end up chat on phone so long.. then scold me gg hm late everytime.. outside anyhow eat, at hm dun wan eat etc... zzz... anyway I just slp thruout the nite..feeling so terrible..
As 4 the scrubing back, not really very red showing on my back skin, so she can tell tat its not due to heat tat cuz the fever..its cuz of the stomach n the cold...cold fever ba... think tat's all.. From this blog.. 1 look can tell, its so fluctuating... can be so happy suddenly, then the nxt ppoint of time, such kind of disaster were to happen just like tat... y can;t it be so consistent? Then all of us won;t have to be so suffering le I guess.. but its not possible ba..we r just so different...

bubbles of sadness.