____________['[*Moments Sharing*]']___________

Wounds that opened up again..

A woman who used to emerge her world with mine..
bringing me brightness, which ends up into pain,tears n darkness..
till eventually the day she left my world n emerge to other's...
Has she really emerge with my world alone?
Never for once, thru out almost the 2 yrs, do i felt that in our world, there's only the 2 of us...
The presence of other filthy men could always be sensed..
Is the woman i love, or those filthy men be faulted?Its both..yet she pushes the blame to those men, which she keeps allowing them to enter our world...
The blame was shifted upon the heartbroken me, who was hurt so deeply times after times...
Blamed for not doing my part well, and letting other guys entered our world..
Why not to say, its her own lack of self disciplined, self determination to defend our love?
Yet its always the opposite, instead of defending n protecting me, i was attacked n wounded all this while...
I have lost the trust n faith in her..yet my hopes always nv dies..
So much that i yearn for her to gain back my trust, it was nv done...

I dreamt of her last nite... i nv expected that...
Waking up with such an ache in my heart..it was unbearable..
thankful for the music in my handphone, i managed to not think too much..
What a horrible dream...
The places we used to go.. i have a back ache for several days...
there she was, sticking the tiger balm pad on the back for me...
her soft gentle hands...working hard, easing the pains on my back..
We spoked...my heart torned apart...
I asked her about that guy, she speaked as usual, hurting me wif merciless words, which doesn't spare a single tot for the listener's feelings..
i sank deep inside my heart... she lied beside me n i asked her a qn..
which i felt my heart is gonna exploded..its like a time bomb..a similar feelings..
That same guilty look from her expression... she's hiding something from me...
yet eventually, she told the truth...it exploded...
I felt dead again.. each time such an incident happened, i wonder...
How many times i have died?i couldn't count...
Has both our world really merged together?
We used to be so closed as 1..
Is this just a fake?
We never were 1..
We never were 2 ppl in our 'world'..
Then what were we?
Y were there so many filthy men popping out in our world?..
every1 seems so surround her n i was pushed away...
Why do i experience such a dreadful dream..? Why..?

On that fateful nite...our last date..?
I really wish to dash toward her n loosen my sturdy wall..
n cried in her arms, on her laps..
begging her to protect me instead of hurting me...
stop hurting me n love me not wif swit words, but actions...
defend me off from those filthy men...
stop letting them hurt me...
Instead...she joined forces with those filthy men, n hurt me..
Am i dead? i dunno...
I helpless now..i was devoured.. when can i break free?
When will that day be....
When....

bubbles of sadness.