____________['[*Moments Sharing*]']___________

A Terribly Broken heart is so hard to mend?

Today happened something which came out of my expectation.. I knew i can't slp again.. Hence decided to come here to pour my heart out..Dec 26, 2008.. Its only 1 mth plus have passed.. It seems super long that i'm officially single.. Y do i feel that its so long? Cuz in my own theory, either 1 of the half will find a new partner after a previous r/s has ended for quite a long time.. But she has managed to find a new replacement so fast that it just makes me feel that our r/s has ended for a very long time..

Hmm time is really miserably slow.. I have dreamt of her for for a few nights..Which i hope i dun, each day i slp.. Waking up from the dream seems terribly worst than having a nitemare.. those thorns n sarcastic remarks of hers, in real life, i experienced them a lot.. ended up, it even came to my dreams to haunt me as well.. In the dream, it seems so real.. I'm having a backache, i'm puzzled why she's there to massage my back for me?

In the dream, my sub conscious mind is still there.. it speaks what my heart wants to speak.. everything seems so real.. I asked her about the guy who comes into our r/s, to bring her away.. yes, she lied beside me as usual, n said everything hard on my face.. so straight.. as though ntg was wrong.. they were tog,happily.. Then y is she stil massaging my back..

I turn my back away n woke up in a teary eyes.. Y am i still tearing? I still can't stop myself day after day, for searching any signs of her.. everywhere online, wanting to find out a single trace of her, but its gd.. I found ntg as days goes by. From Msn, to facebook, to even friendster..to her frd's blog.. Such traces goes disappearing day by day..though each time i c it, each time my heart really tore apart again...

That disgusted pic which i saw in that guy's facebook.. I felt utterly disgusted.. TImes after times i went to Amk Hub, for movie..For other activties to places where i know she went, i prayed hard that i won't saw her..esp when i knew that she'll be with that guy.. I told myself now that she got a car to ride on, provided by that guy, so chances of seeing her at public transport will be lowered.Of cuz, got free ride, why not?

Today i went wif william as usual to amk hub to catch a movie..I purposely choose the timing to be afternoon, the safest time where i won;t have the chance to c her in the cinema.. Watched Underworld 3.. Movie turns out not bad as usual, n as i was happily gg down the escalator wif wil, surprisingly something tells me not to take the lift, i immediately saw her on the 1st floor..

Of cuz its not her alone.. WHo else? Its that guy beside her.. They were queuing at the citibank there, waiting for the Axn.. To think of it, the times back, gg to the axn wif her, is for 2 purpose..Settling her bills or planning a holiday trip.. Immediately, this 2 possibility came to my mind.. Well of cuz such a short time, its not a surprise that they were gg for a short trip..

In such a short time, anything have already happened.. Not surprised gg for a short trip tog is another shocking thing i can;t expected.. i managed to dodge away without her noticing it wif wil.. of cuz she n that guy were too happily engrossed wif some brochure she was looking at.. Wil guess its some trip promo thingy.. Anyway watever.. the guy was like happily talking to her.. Of cuz he did looked at the escalator direction.. Since that guy doesn;t recognise me, whatever i cared..

Nv expect the nitemare came thru this time.. It just simply sucks.. how disgusting it is.. Anyway i have seen the ugly side of everything.. I'm a coward so? Yeah i dare not face them.. Why shld i be the 1 hiding? She didn't even have any guilt at all, so y shld i be hiding away?Even if she is guilty or shld be guilty, i shld b strong enough..

Just like some other guys or gals, who saw that their ex, who dumped them for another partner on the street, they stood courageous n smile at them.. I really admire such act which i can't do it..Its not a smile of envy, or blessing the new couple. Its a smile which the new couple shld be awkwardly faced.. esp the person who dump.. I smile which carries a meaning, Oh, look an ex gf who used to be a part of my life, every memories which happened, now its another person repeating the old process which i used to when i'm with my ex.. Haha evil thoughts..Such smile is formidable.. ended up, i'm such a weakling..

All i do is just walked away quietly n heartaching.. It just sucks.. wat a terrible day i have been thru... It actually came true...I saw it wif my very own eyes..The cruelty of human beings..How heartless n complex a human can be.. Human are actually the most scariest creature on earth, as much as how normal humans can look.. i have seen 1 of the most ugliest sight of a human can be..Be it Woman, or man.. Not only man r the evil ones.. it oso applies to woman too..

bubbles of sadness.