____________['[*Moments Sharing*]']___________

128th Day Without Serene

When will be the Day 1 Without my Miss Right? Tsk Joking. I have no faith in any woman after 2 bad experiences as well as what's happening ard the world these days.. Hmm so how's my day being a crippled? Since my last update, Sun i think i stayed at hm? Then Mon, cuz duck's gf is planning the surprised party for duck, ended up i was busy planning for them..

Well Mon was a terrible day.. Nothing goes smooth.. in the morning, i called Singapore poolz to postpone the interview as i really couldn't travel far.. Ended up, they moved back my interview to the nxt time..gosh...Dunno when they'll arrange me for another interview.. Nxt up, the plan was so messed up wif so many uncertain areas..I'm dishearten..

I dreaded the most when things didn't go as plan..not to the slightest bit.. Well i realised another personality of me.. When i wan to do things, i want to put in 100% effort, if not, might as well dun do, if half hearted.. So i really put in effort, though its not for me... Of cuz if its related to me, i'll put in more than 100% in to it.. I wanted the plan to be progressing smoothly, end up so many probs..

It does not lies on my part, but ended up, more towards the rest..Communication wasn't clear, n lots of poor conversation gg ard..Already planned like tat, end up so many changes..or didn't follow at all, after we have sitted down n discussed n agreed upon it.. Ended up, when the time comes, didn't follow.. i have to kip thinking of new strategies on the spot.. This feeling sucks..

It reminds me of the pass when i planned several gathering or celebrations for the group of younger frds.. i really put in lots of effort in it, but ppl just wouldn't appreciate the effort.. I'm not rich, if i got plenty of cash, i sure have no probs in planning even more interesting activities, which can match those crappy ideas from varieties shows oversea..Cuz i'm full of crappy ideas..

However, the fact is, i dun have tat loads of Money.. But wif watever i have, i tried to plan many interesting things to entertain them in my ways..But most of the time, it was just entertaining them, but stress on myself..What i hope was appreciation for the hard work, n i feel happy that my effort was paid off..They enjoyed, they participate enthusiastically, i feel happy, though i'm always the most busiest as the organiser...I dun mind it.. however, its always the other way...

That's the reason y, when i have reached the stage of being half-hearted, i have stop those plannings..Wat for make myself so hard n suffer, when i received unappreciative participations..The same kind of feeling goes for my relationships.. I become half-hearted after prolong of such reciprocation..esp the 1st 1 yr of my 2nd r/s..the 2nd yr, by rite shld be better, but...nah i dun wish to talk abt it anymore..If no1 is able to bring back my heart, i just dun have the strength anymore, after being hurt for so long...

Go back to this sucky Monday..I went for the treatment myself, as there's no car, no ppl free to bring me there.. i'm on my own..How pathetic..I dun have cash wif me, as there dun even accept nets..only straight cash..means, i have to walk all the way to sun plaza to draw cash..haha..great..My mum bring me a new scandal to wear, so i can endure the pain n walk there..

So wat happened nxt? on my tough journey, usually takes 10mins, ended up seems a long way..I got hard probs crossing the road..The timing for the green light, seems so short now, n i have to hurry down to the other side of the road.. the worst thing was..the new scandals can spoil on the 1st day... crippled leg, plus spoilt scandals..tog wif a very warm n humid day..its just plain crappy...

Hurried to draw cash n take a cab down, some more the guy at the clinic, called me to rush me down as he has another patient at 4pm.. Sian..Worse still, tat cab took me a big round b4 reaching the place..n he still charged me at the exact amount.. Reached there, tat guy like anyhow massage my foot, n schedule another appt for me on nxt sat..

I'm thinking, the way he massage, i can do it myself at hm lo.. each time come, cab to n fro, plus medical fee of 25 bucks, is equal to 39 bucks.. 3rd treatment this time..dunno how much $ fly away le.. i'm so tight that i have to force myself to work today..then on the way back, i'm suppose to go to sp mac to mit duck's gf n william for the plan, but cuz of slipper, i have to take a cab hm 1st..

this cab driver, oso the same.. so speechless..extra $ again..i stopped at my hse, to chg slippers..then walked back to sp..i was oso mad at something..the plan is coming soon, ended up things are not gg as planned..Its almost 5pm..yet, duck is sending his gf hm..original plan, wil pull duck hm tog after sch..duck gf go hm herself..They convince me that they are able to prevent duck from sending gf hm..

Ended up they failed.. ok nvm..Wil go hm put things n mit me..I was abt to gif up the plan le..dun feel like helping anymore..ended up, finally duck's gf contacted me at last..so everything is still as planned, however, the time has gone haywired..i told myself, just too bad, i'm not the 1 causing all the time wasting.Duck went to bishan to play arcade as expected..suppose to go hm if wil n mit at 5pm at sun plaza, ended up duck was playing arcade at bishan after sending gf..

When he entered arcade, equal dunno wat time he come out..after much chasing from wil, he finally on the the way hm..Even duck's gf has already reached sp, but the male lead wasn;t here at all..The other frd's of theirs waited for 2 hrs n of cuz were pulling black face..Duck reached sp only ard almost 7pm..Great...They planned we tried to pull, didn't really reached our expectations, partly oso, male lead, doesn't have much feelings i guessed..

Rushed a cab down, to swensens to mit their frds, cele duck's bd..can see tat their frd was unhappy..anyway, the cele i can say wasn't successful as well..Male lead not cooperative, n ntg much exciting.some frds left early, the bd song wasn't even sung properly, eating 'cake' early even b4 we start eating dinner, cuz those waiting there, had eaten n wants to leave..So sing, eat n they go..

i didn;t eat, cuz i noe, can't eat cold ice-cream wif empty stomach..sure gastric pain..So i just drink my soup.. For that thing, i only ate 1 cherry n have to pay almost 10 bucks for tat..haha..great..the food was disapointing as well..THey played a game to pull trick on duck, like snake n ladder..but inside only got drink water n true or dare..Their frd set the rule..Duck drink all, n do all the true or dare if ganna them..

Some small stunts done, i tried my best to entertain them.. Ard 9pm, we settle our things n leave for hm..I nice thing was, wil was nice to sent me to my hse downstair, b4 gg hm..He carried my things for me.. His hse is very far from my hse, i appreciate that.. Aw..overall, i missed eating my Merry mint ice-cream at Swensens..Anyway, already a lot of $ spend..I'm left wif 20 bucks..so no merry mint for me..

Overall, this is wat i hope to have a partner in future..Some1 who can take care of me, as well as i take care of her..Not only plain taking care of her, where i'm taking care myself alone..Some1 who is willing to stay by my side thru out thin n thick.. My wish...

Anyway, work starts today, it was tough.. i dun have bandages as a support as my legs are itch wif rashes, tog wif my very dry cracked n painful legs..i missed those days when Serene used to bring me to do some pedicure, n foot massage.. As well as the hello panda she bought for me a few occasions..Anyway.. Its a past now, living only memories..Things can't nv return to the past anymore, since she started new memories wif another guy...

I have to take cab to work as i'm not able to travel well..Dunno how..$ really very tight le..But nv go work, i dunno how to survive..Tonite, i force duck to support me hm just now, though he's not very willing, but anyway still grateful ba..Thanks...for so unwillingly supprt me hm..tml got work again..stop here..

bubbles of sadness.