____________['[*Moments Sharing*]']___________

136th Day Without Serene

It’s been a while since I update my blog. Basically, nothing much to update about these days for a crippled like me. Actually yesterday I was supposed to work, but because my leg’s condition got worst, I went to see a doctor again on Monday. Since I rest at home (not entirely resting because I have to take care of the baby nephew) I planned to blog, but I don’t know why the webpage doesn’t managed to load successfully after several attempts.

Why am I able to blog now, even though I’m at work? Because I dragged myself to work, only to find that my incomplete task (a small bit) was completed by my boss yesterday, during my absence from work. Furthermore, he’s not at his desk when I reached. So since I got nothing to do, I might as well blog so as to act busy, as though I’m working. Sound foolish though, but its fine with me.

Hmm what shall I post? Last update was Saturday, so on Sunday, basically did nothing much, but just keeps watching movie online, with the new program. Then in the afternoon, went out to Mac to study. Didn’t really study much though and in the evening, Nelson and William came to play cards. So just play a while and they left, before I carry on with the studies.

Monday, like what I said, Morning looked after baby nephew, watch movie, go see a doctor and went to Mac. I learnt a few magic tricks from Kia and I’m fascinated by them. After further persuading, Kia finally taught Jim and me the tricks. I felt foolish after knowing how the tricks were done. Some were really simple, while some were simple, but difficult to master.

Yesterday, I mentioned earlier on that I did not attend work as my leg injuries got worst. After watching movie at home, I went out to have dinner with Kia. Street Fighter 4 is finally repaired, so went to play awhile with those arcade people. Afterwards, company Duck to Mos Burger to eat and chat before he sent me home. Of course, he did it unwillingly as usual. But since he is going to my block nearby to buy some food back to eat, he companied me home.

Well some other things to post, I had a dream last night. A terrible dream and it’s the first time I dreamt of the incident. Though in the dream, I dreamt of Serene again. In the dream, I managed to see her again, her smile, her face, which I longed to see, to feel.. However in real life, no matter how much I yearned to, I would rather not see her again. The last time I saw her, was at AMK Hub with that guy, which broke our relationship, at the AXS machine.

So what happened in the dream? Well I was walking with her, like the past. Talking and smiling as we walk, suddenly we saw a short, but very muscular guy walking towards us. He looked very fierce and walked pass, between us, knocked me and caused us to walk apart. After which, we were looking at him cautiously as he looked like a threat to us. Suddenly, he walked very fast towards me with increasing speed.
As he does so, a knife came fleshing out and he wanted to stab me. My leg in the dream was also injured with bandaged on like now. I was so scared and I tried to use my leg to kick him away to stop his knife. But I think I kicked him, but the knife went straight to my stomach. It seemed so real that it causes me to wake up, with my heart thumping so hard.

Ended up its raining heavily and it’s I think its 6am plus. My mind went into thinking again. I recalled what she told me in the past, that the guy (7 years de) wanted to ask someone to kill me. Life is destined, if I were to die in this way, its fate. (Though I hope to die peacefully in the future) Anyway that’s all about the nightmare.

Lastly, I got nothing to do in the office; I went to her friend’s blog as usual, to read. Well they came back from Hong Kong. Well perhaps that guy also went with her in the trip. Perhaps it’s not the first time and I won’t be surprised. Thinking about this, I recalled our only trip together, to Genting. Its memorable indeed, but her overseas memories with me will also be covered, by new memories with that guy.

Another incident which reminds me clearly, is the day where she flies over to find someone, which is the past now. All the things which happened there, everything which happened on our trip, and everything which happened in overseas trip with that guy, I have experienced equal feelings. And each of them was equally strong and painful. No matter how hurt I am, I have to be strong and stand up. What are left are just memories of the past to recall, photos of her and her belongings. Though she has cast everything aside and moved on with that guy, these memories have become part of my life inevitably. I’ll keep them safe with me.

bubbles of sadness.