____________['[*Moments Sharing*]']___________

150th Day Without Serene

Hmm this morning at 1am, as i returned home, i accidentally dropped the bunch of key under the lift. It was like, zzz.. Anyway i called the hotline given, and waited 4 2 ppl to specially stop the lift for me and retrieve the key. end up wrapped up everything, 2am then i retire for bed. Well the bunch of key i'm holding, contains the word 'Jing', a name which i never expect to have.

Yet this name should have already be gone, during the 1st time when she left to italy. Yup if what's i'm regretting now, it will be hardened my heart that time, n never let her come into my world again, hurting me n leaving me so many times for the 1st bread, and comes to this stage, where i'm the only 1 which is at fault. Leave le jiu suan le, now can't even have the basic peace.I should have already expected such ending, where i'll play the role of the bad person in the r/s, which makes her have the right tat she leave me for another guy, is my bad, not hers.

Ah ha, but i have no fear, for i'm not afraid for what others said, like ben told me. Ppl wan to say, just let them say, for only the true ppl, will understand u well, that those bad remarks, were not enough to smear my name black. I read an even funniest part. She's so find me so pitiful, writing xxx days without her. Oh well, the format i wan to write, is my business. Just like what i wrote in my own tag box, moving on is a must, for its not worth to stay for her anymore.

But true hard feelings have been placed in the r/s. So easy to move on meh? I'm counting the days. Yes i'm counting. Counting till the day when i managed to put it down. This has always been the case ma. Too bad i'm not such kind of person as being the 1 who leave the r/s behind wif another ger, leaving the person behind to wrap up everything herself. And even let my frds cast such a remarks like this.

In their tag box, she even speak abt her past, which i feel it for her. But sympathy is 1 thing, but its a pity that how can r/s be compared like this? Is it always the case when such thing happen, the reason behind is the same? Does everything starts the same? How does her r/s wif that guy who left her in the end start? Is it like my r/s wif her? Started off so badly where i suffered a great deal.

And so because her own r/s, the guy left him for another ger, means she's not gd enough, shows that i'm the same? The story in the r/s is completely different and the answer is always the case? I dun have to explain my self as seems that they dun even noe the situation n keeps thinking that they are right in their assumptions. I'm in a situation when i'm not on equal level as her in the r/s.

when we formally started, i'm at a very -ve level. I have to overcome all this -ve things, overcome my past wounds, overcome my insecurity, overcome my broken trust and faith in her. Well her current guy got experience such things like me or not? While he's wif her, did he experience the pains of knowing that she tell another person that she love him and at the same time tells him the same word that she love him?I experienced tat. How much internal struggle i have to face when each time she said she love me? When at the same time, i knew that she's saying i love you to another person.this was just a very small eg.

My internal struggle was to believe her words, which ended up causing deep wounds. What has she done to me for the guy, until she finally be wif me? So which means that after hurting me so much, she give up her bread is being very gd to me? How was the giving up comes abt? she tried to move on wif him, but cuz the tension as there, can't work things out, that's y she give him up to be wif me.

So i'm just a 2nd option as always. I dun wish to say further. Want to blame me, by all means. What done cannot be undone. THis ppl doesn't have the rite to judge me wrong. The party herself, since she dun feel anything wrong, then we already placed a full stop. She left wif that guy, which i already predicted. Then hence i'm here to wrapped the remanants of the r/s behind. wan to poke into other affairs, poke into their r/s, dun have to ratter so much to 1 person here.

bubbles of sadness.