____________['[*Moments Sharing*]']___________

Does Luck Really Exist? (Blog on 19th Nov at 8.28pm)

I finished my work and currently I am at SP Mac, Blogging down my feelings at this point of time. What makes me really think about the topic of luck, is due to the things I have been gg thru lately. Does luck really exist, or is it just an excuse for people on the things that had happened? Well it is not to my level of knowledge to really explain about it.

What had been revolving about me have been so negative and I really can’t helped thinking that this has to do with luck? Take for instance, everything I have been doing lately wasn’t really smooth at all.. In terms of work, though I got a couple of temp jobs coming here n there, even if I have it, things just dun last. Imagine, the temp jobs keeps ending earlier than the predicted time. In addition, my full time job just send me waiting full of uncertainties when it actually starts. Even if I found a nice temp job, it was too far, or interrupted by other temp offers, which send me off my balance..

Gambling? Bought little 4D, so far only strike ibet of 20 bucks. I bought ordinary numbers, the numbers keep missing by sequence or few numbers. When I came across at time when I have no time to buy, the number actually come out.. Or when I decided to buy Ibet, instead of ordinary number, it came out.. In terms of mahjong, I have explained in my mahjong session on the few post ago. In terms of cards, I have explained in my previous post…

In terms of game, well its either the button wasn’t working well, or my performance wasn’t there. Like I finished work earlier, I headed to Sun Plaza to relieve my stress, ended up only to keep losing to a player whom I used to win.. I keep losing at the last part, the game was so close n for some reason, I just couldn’t execute the move that I intend to do.. Was it really cuz I am unlucky, or is it because I am too tired? I am not in the mood to play? The button or joystick wasn’t working well? These seems as excuses given by me, but which 1 was the right reason? Is it all the reasons or actually none of them r true? I really have no idea at all..

What about my love life? Well dun say about the past r/s, the ppl I have come across.. Really makes me feel like she’s a weirdo… Fate was like so funny.. The ones I managed to contact wif, either makes me feel awkward n weird about them, keep smsing n pestering me non-stop, until I feel breatheless or it was like a long distance away, having lots of communication difficulties, which ended up having lots of misunderstanding n misinterpretation of the meaning of the sentence. The people you hope to at least noe in your life, just lies in front of my eyes, but yet it seems so near, yet so far.. Either I am blocked lots of barriers or something just stopped me from moving forward.. My inner fear stops me, or the outer person, just didn’t send me a ‘GO’ sign for me to move forward…

All these could be due to my own self, lack of confidence, lack of self esteem, or it could be any other reasons? Is my luck really down? Or is the problem on me? WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME? I hav to stop havin all those negative tots, but each time I tried to get up, each time I tried to be confident again, building up my self-esteem, I was just beaten badly on the ground. Like sf4 earlier on.. I was confident tat I can win him, but the results keep losing…Lose until I begin to doubt myself.. doubt my confidence.. Doubt everything.. Y are things so rough, tat it seems tat my path ahead was full of pains n sorrows.. It got so painful that I could hardly move forward anymore step, not even a single step forward.. I jus wish tat this could end.. I’m suffocated n feel as though I am buried under a pool of traps.. n they just keeps pulling me down, like heavy weight, dragging me deep into the sea, I could hardly surface, n the lights from the surface of the water just keeps getting further away, as I sink deep into the endless depth, wondering when will I ever feel the seabed..

Stopped blogging at 9.56pm

bubbles of sadness.