____________['[*Moments Sharing*]']___________

Updates for 13th Nov – 17th Nov & few days plans ahead (blogged at 27th Nov, 9.55pm)

I have decided to blog this earlier from normal weeks (I am usually only free on weekends onwards) because starting from tomorrow onwards, I will be undergoing another short changes in my lifestyle. People undergo different form of changes all the time, depending on time n place of the environment surrounding them. Hence under such phases in my life, I am facing several changes, especially this yr.

Changes can be good at times, but can be bad as well, depending on the situation. Of cuz for my case, its usually more negative than positive. This yr indeed was a very tough yr, but having pull thru so far, its not the time to give up, else everything will be gone to waste. On the surface, changes might seem positive to me, but its really very hard to adapt as it was quite rapid n pack.

The latest update was I am working temp at tiong bahru for few weeks, while waiting for my full time job, which until now its still uncertain. (Latest informed was thru email that I will noe by late Nov. I am still counting down the days. When exactly will be the time I receive their news?) So from tml onwards, I will be working at SSC for 5 days, dealing wif some IPOs for Capital Land. This week is gonna be tough for me as my weekends will b burnt and on Mon, my Temp job at Tiong Bahru will resume.

Back track few days ago to last weekend, initially I was hoping of enjoying it before this coming week comes. But this Ben, did not wan to come down for our usual activities. Well if not for Wil calling my jc bro for mahjong session, ben would not have show up. However it was something I dreaded, overnite again.. Since its been a long time we played Mahjong, so I agreed.

In my previous post, I did mention it, so here comes the results.. It was a complete disappointment.. Its not because of the rustiness of my skill in the game, but something just seems weird.. it’s the same as in playing cards game recently. My luck seemed to be very down lately n my credits have been dropping so much that even wil have surpassed my winnings..

Of cuz in a game, when someone loses, definitely there’s bond to have a winner.. No 1 can say to be super lucky thru out his/her life. If there’s really such person on earth, I wish I am 1 of them (It can’t be true). So from wat I have said above, obviously the super lucky 1 is Wil. As for ben, the ans is quite obvious wif the description made. He’s the only 1 who have been losing thru out this entire yr.

His bad luck starts ever since the start of this yr, keep losing n losing until such shocking results. At certain occasion he did managed to make a comeback, however, the lost is always higher than the winnings. Anyway this tough yr is gonna be over soon. Compared to him, actually, I rather be bad luck at this card games we played n be smooth in my daily life. No point winning so many credits, wasting so much time playing on it, but dunno when those credits will turn to real cash.

So back to this mahjong thing, I meet wil at sem at around 7pm+? Then we headed a long journey, taking train to Yishun n transfer bus 969 to Tampines interchange, meeting Ben there. After which we took bus 72 to Ray’s hse (JC Bro). U can imagine transportation fee would be high n travel so far just to play mj..Its a pity tat nearby our houses, there’s no frds we noe who could play mj tog. Even if we do have, the rates are astonishingly high.

So we begin our 1st round at around 9pm, well this time I am quite satisfy tat my bro has changed the seats to those which have back rest. Actually its not thanks to my bro that we got a better chair, but its cuz his relatives were playing earlier on, so tat accounted for the better chairs. Seriously I am not very happy wif the treatment of Ray, as he has been causing a lot of happiness to my weekends or activities, like cancelling activities at the last min (A lot of times, wasting our trips there)

Ok I just skip on.. So we played a total of 4 full rounds and for all the rounds, I just have a common action.. Tat is, opening the drawer n giving out chips thru out the game. My luck was consider the worst thru out the game. Why I said tat its not cuz of my skill that I lose, its cuz no matter wat kind of tiles I get, I seldom throw the winning tiles for other ppl to win the game.

When I get the lousy tiles, ppl already start to listen, while I am still having diff forming my sets, cuz the tiles I drew was lousy indeed.. By the time I managed to start listening, the rest of the players won already.. I am consider a balanced strategy player, defending n attacking at the same time. But usually more towards the cautious type, tat’s y players sitting after my turn, have diff feeding on my tiles.

Now, even if my tiles are nice, I couldn’t even win, cuz my drawn tiles were just poor, even if I start waiting, ppl won away.. Or if I have ‘water $’ from 4 tiles of the same or biting flowers, I just give them back to the rest, cuz ppl sure have ‘water $’ as well, plus winning the game. So end up, nothing goes into my drawer left. The only happening thing in the 1st round was, Ben makes a mark of himself by ‘Za Hu’.

Its really surprising tat ppl can ‘Za Hu’ easily. Actually I was quite slply n tired n for tat round I was sitting oppo of him, so I didn’t really pay attention to his tiles, when he flash them open. Cuz I have been paying, so it was like a habit for me, when I hear some1 shouting ‘Hu’. Then Ray n will caught him n he paid 6.40 chips to each player. Cuz our rates are 20-40 times 1.5 at the end of the game.

Well the 6.40 he paid to me, wasn’t even enough to recover my losses as $ keeps going out, but nv come in. So the 1st game, leading was ray n wil. N of cuz wil has been on luck recently, he won n all of us were shocked (cuz he has nv won each time we play mahjong) His was the most latest to start playing mahjong. Seriously speaking from wat I observe, his skill actually nv improve lo. Still anyhow play, but its cuz tat he’s so lucky tat he managed to escape n won..

Well so we played on, I was getting slply n really dun have the mood to play anymore.. In the 2nd or 3rd game, wil actually was chosen to be sitting after my turn. I really guard him so tight n even so, he can keep self draw n win the game.. This was really so frustrating.. So this lasted until morning n the results is very clear.. Wil is the only winner out of the 3 of us for the 1st time..

But the rest of us, the results were quite surprise. When morning comes, my luck starts to recover a little n I managed to recoup. Ray’s luck is oppo from me. His luck starts to dip as each round goes by.. As for Ben, it was fluctuating badly.. So Ray lost the most of around 42, wif me down by 36 and Ben only 21 down if I am not wrong. The results are after multiplying 1.5 to the original chip count.

Even though Ben paid heavily at the beginning, his luck was pretty gd. But anyway at the end of the game, most imptly we did satisfy ourselves cuz we get to play mahjong after such a long time. So we went to have our breakfast at kfc, ray did not join us. The rest suggested playing cards after eating breakfast, so we played till ard 12pm b4 gg a long journey back home..

As usual, the results need not be explained.. I went home wash up n slp till evening time where I woke up n headed to sun plaza a while after eating dinner at home. I meet newspaperboy n played awhile of street fighter 4 n headed down to chat for a while b4 heading home n prepare for work. Mon comes n it was a day of work at Tiong Bahru, b4 I stop for a week n carry on this coming mon, so it will be a temp farewell to my fellow colleagues..

Well Mon nite, I actually went to do something which I dun have the courage to do in my life. I went to meet a female, whom I noe online. I still rmb a conversation wif my colleagues during lunch time about online ppl.. ya its really ridiculous, n u can be surprise the kind of ppl u will meet thru online.. Online really hard to find a nice ppl around..well but I think part of me have changed a little ever since my past r/s have ended..

Yup its true tat 1 ppl’s beliefs n mindset will change depending on wat things they experienced.. Before a r/s starts 1 have a certain kind of beliefs n mentality towards something. When a r/s starts, cuz 2 diff ppl come tog n influence each other, a new beliefs arises..Whether this mindset can sustain until throughout or not, depends on the 2 person in the r/s. When the r/s falls, 2 ppl separated n have diff sets of mindset again, but it will definitely not be the same as before..

Yes my mindset has indeed changed..or its still the same? Its quite complicated though.. I am terribly dishearten towards love.. It was hurtful, I dare not touch it. My attitude towards such wat was beautiful thing on earth, has withered dark n grey.. There’s no such things on earth anymore.. ppl in this world are just horrible creatures. The ppl I have encountered showed me horrible things n everything turned ugly in the end..

There’s no more true love, but only masks after masks tat ppl r wearing. Ppl like to flirt around, like to play n fool ard, y can’t i? so after work after several attempts this ger asked me out, I decided to mit her.. I shall call her sheep as she has addressed herself. I have nv see her photos b4 but my photos were displayed on my Msn. I must really admit tat this ger was really very weird in my opinion. Mentally emotional n it frightens me, but I decided to meet as I am always curious..

So it was planned at Vivo City n I meet her at last.. Of cuz I noe during conversation tat she’s not the type of ger I wanted, as she’s sounded open.. The 1st thing we confirmed our identity on phone, she did something which takes me aback.. I was so shocked tat she holded my hand n grab my arm n begins so touchy..It was such a horrible feeling tat turned me off at once. Is this how ppl flirt around? How can ppl take such a kind of encounter?

Immediately at once, I really feel disgusted by it.. Holding hands wif some1 u truly love its completely a diff kind of feeling.. I can tell it straight n feel it wif my heart.. I recall the times when I hold my hands wif my ex, esp the woman which I loved the most dearly so far, which is my 2nd ex.. She really gave me the most comfortable feeling I ever have being wif her..(dun say the bad feelings she gave me) I really loved her hugs n stuffs..
But this bad encounter was like an extreme oppo..

She was very down n upset, but refuse to tell me wat..as a friend, I tried my best to lend a listening ear n comfort her as she asked. I hated it when she keeps grabbing my hand n arm even though I struggled obviously wif a strong hint.. but it was in the public, I dun wish to make a hu ha n attract unnecessary attention. Anyway she intro me to a place for dinner, super hotdog at vivocity. Can’t really rmb the name, but I tasted a grilled fish burger n it taste great.

So after dinner, we went to the place where we can see the river view. Indirectly, thanks to her tat I get to c a nice Christmas tree there n some nice scenary.. Its been a long time since I went to vivocity already. How nice if at such a time, I am wif the ger I loved most, enjoying this scenary.. Here comes the lousiest part.. She actually cried on my shoulders…I felt horrible, but Its kind of bad to push her away.. so I just sit like a rock n pray in silence tat such a moment will end..

So I just comfort her by telling her about my own encounter, n I mean diff ppl have diff ways of overcoming it.. The more hurt the woman u love gave u, the most faster u wan to get over it. I admit tat for the start it was really tough n each days were so miserable, 1 feel like dying..The worst is, even after she left me for another guy, her frds n her still hurt me more, n gave me hell in my blog n their own blog.. I can’t bear it, I close down my blog for some time n switch it to another address..

Having overcome it, I kind of prefer my life now.. though it was lonely at times, but I dun think I will be like her, going else where n just find any gers n fool around.. I jus keep myself occupied n busy..Doing lots of things myself, to keep myself from not thinking abt her n only reduced to tearing every nite b4 I slp.. Yea it is definitely not worth to even drop a tear for such a woman..

Well of cuz I keep saying all this, is actually to hint her la.. Though I think her life is really quite scary enough n I am really terrified as she seemed mentally unstable.. So anyway as promised I sent her to her house nearby at kovan n faster depart there n left for home.. I tot tat my body language has already sent messages to her tat I am not interested in her, I can just be her frd n show her comfort when she need a listening ear..

Initially she sent me an sms after we departed, I tot the sms was like ‘Dun worry, I will keep you as my frd lo.’ Tells me tat its gonna reside here, but ended up it seems like I am giving myself additional trouble.. She begins to irritate me after I replied her. She sounded demanding n insist to mit tomorrow, cuz I was very frank wif her when she asked me about my schedule the next day. I told her I would be attending a briefing in the morning n thank goodness I received a call during our meeting time from my boss, whom I used to work wif him at NUS.

So I sensed something amiss, I sort of decided to keep away from her and told her tat I am not sure the wat time the briefing will end n I might have to head down to meet my boss to discuss the project he have for me. So very likely I might not be free to meet her.. I will be very tired as well n the next day I will be working for straight 5 days, burning my weekends n mon I have to straight away report back to work at Tiong Bahru..

Well anyway I keep pushing her away n my messages becomes shorter.. It seemed so persistent n irritating. I recall on Mon lunch wif my Tiong Bahru colleague, 1 of them told me about her experiences. Diff ppl saying the same thing to u, has got diff feelings. If you love tat person, wat ever the person says, will sound so sweet n loving, but if you dun love tat person, u feel disgusted, whatever the person says to u.. Yup I really experienced it..

Well so this morning I woke up n hurried to Tanjong Pagar for the Briefing.. I got assigned to Sem Shop Centre (Thank goodness) for this coming 5 days to mend the booth there. My task is to just give out IPOs to investors who might be interested to invest. So which means Wed to Sun I will be working at there lo.. I gotten my working Polo-T n after the briefing, I headed back home.

Of cuz, I called my Boss as he told me to call him this morning n cuz I am tied down wif my Tiong Bahru work, I might not be able to help him wif his short project. So he would give me an ans whether he can wait till 1st Dec b4 I went over to help him out. Everything actually ended b4 12pm, but her sms n miss call really frightens me.. It keeps coming n I have to reply her after she sent a few sms.

I just replied that the short briefing turn out to be a training n I will be heading over to my boss work place in the afternoon n I will be tired after all the travelling. But her reply was, where is ur workplace, I come over to find u.. My hint was really obvious tat I am not meeting her today. I even purposely take a long time to reply her, but she keeps asking me where am I now, etc..

I reached sem in the afternoon, my frds all were not able to eat lunch wif me, but my heart tells me clearly, I rather feel more comfortable eating myself than to have lunch wif her.. anyway I reached home after eating n played wif my lovely nephew, and online, blocking her in case she online. She then send me an sms, tat she go out wif her frd to vivocity to walk..

Her life was really very complicated, like hanging out wif lots of guys.. But anyway I dun even care about her lifestyle, all I advice her was, find a proper r/s n get on wif life, no point leading such a messy life.. But I am not sure she was able to catch my message or not. I tot I have peace then on.. Ended up after she went out wif her ‘frd’ for a few hours, the message starts again.. asking me where am I, wan to come over n have dinner wif me at my boss workplace..

I told her I am really very tired n most probably I will be gg home to rest, not eating dinner. Her last sms gave me a chance to send a strong signal to her. She seemed so concerned abt me n even ended her message wif ‘muck muck’ as though I am already her bf.. My replied was super short, I completely ignored her last message n wrote ‘errrr….thanks’. Thanks is only referred to her concern as a frd. Finally no more reply from her.. Finally I have peace, like I used to have..

Actually I have gotten used to not having my handphone by my side all this while le. Not waiting for any messages like I used to when I was wif my ex..at work, I can even put my handphones at the drawer n go around the offices n come back after my things only to check for miss calls for news from my jobs. Not like I go anywhere I carry my handphone along, waiting for messages like an idiot, yet while I was waiting, she was smsing wif another person..

I hope this horrible ordeal has put to rest for now..Just worried tat tomorrow morning I won’t get the same thing again from her. But its thanks to this encounter, I somehow managed to find back myself a little.. I really wonder how can a person flirt around wifout even feeling weird n uncomfortable? Definitely, such kind of life really doesn’t suit me..i tot I can be equally bad, from wat other treated me, but eventually I find tat I can’t…

I shared the news wif Ben, even him also say, he will feel very weird lo. If I wan a hug, if I wan to hold a ger’s hand, it has to be some1 I truly love. The feeling is the most comfortable n the most happiest..I won’t 4get the feeling I have at tat time in my life.. It was the most memorable.. So I hope tat I would be able to find such feelings again 1 very day.. Anyway I guess I shall stop here.. I decided to blog now, cuz I am worried tat I might not have the time to do so, since I would be busy working this few days..

Stopped blogging at 18th Nov 12.02am.

bubbles of sadness.