____________['[*Moments Sharing*]']___________

Updates for 18th Jan 2010 Mon
(Start blogging on 18th Jan 2010 at 9.46pm)

Tomorrow is the beginning of another temp assignments while waiting for MBS news to report for training. Hopefully this would be the last temp assignment I would be working on, cuz I am tired of waiting for the uncertainties.. This time the location would be Jurong East Mrt, followed by a 40cent transport bus to the work place. Hopefully it would be near so I dun have to waste too much time on travelling..

I woke up ard 9.30am thanks to mm’s morning call, so I can call my agency about y the person nv called me last wk 4 interview. She helped me contact them n say they would be calling me at ard 2pm in the afternoon. Hence I use internet thru out the morning until afternoon time.. I watched another episode of Autumn’s Concerto and found tat the arrogant lead actor resembles him, who came btw me n my ex, becoming her bf..

As for me, I looked like the guy who likes the female lead actress, sacrificing myself to protect the ger, to love the ger, yet nobody appreciates n understand my feelings.. Such story plot just resembles the Korea taste, think that the drama is trying to copy Korea style, but I think the story plot can somehow be guessed. Its definitely gonna be tog for the arrogant guy n the ger, while the sacrificed person is moving off to nowhere or found another who is worthy of his love.

Or another ending would be main actor n actress got tog, but guy got illness n its gonna be a sad ending.. Anyway not gonna talked abt this issue, but abit of something which was very disheartening in the afternoon, or rather in fact until now, when I am at mac blogging abt it.. Dear blog, I have come to consult n seek ur listening ear once again.. Ever since I replied her a last sms, asking her whether she’s reached home already, there’s no news since then..

Oh my, who can ever understand how I felt? How anxious n sad I was.. Its been so long, y am I still so badly affected by it? I dunno wat’s wrong.. this kind of uneasy n insecure feelings just makes my mind turn n turn, every kind of imaginations come into me, those –ve onces, as though its driving me crazy.. I tried my best not to think so much, keeping myself occupied so I dun have to think abt it..

The results is already clear, I am clear of my path now.. If a person is worthy to be wif u for the rest of ur life, she will be.. Dun have to go thru so much pains n hurt n end up got hurt again n again.. How impt is 1 at the other person’s heart, its very much clear.. Initially, I was thinking the reason y she nv reply was tat she’s so tired after a nite’s work n she just fell aslp..

I keep enforcing this +ve tots on me, n its very suffering in the heart. So I keep myself occupied, 2pm the work called me wif a voice interview, and I got into the job.. Working hours would be 9-6, some of the days have to stay until b4 8pm, cuz I have to deal wif some countries, who have time lapsed diff like Indonesia. So have to stay until quite late until the quota have been reached..

So anyway tml morning would have to wake up n reach jurong east mrt by 9am.. Hmm it was around 5pm plus, I prepared myself to go out to run some errands for my mum.. By this time, the waiting for the sms got worsen n I cannot suppress the tot tat she’s slping soundly anymore.. Bad things starts to flow inside the head. Cuz I rmb she couldn’t slp for so long n when she woke up, normally she would sms me..

But there’s still no news.. I was wondering tat she must have not gone home to slp, but actually headed to some1’s hse? Some1 is clearing leave, so asked her over to stay.. Such things start to come in, and I tried to look at the last sms I sent.. over n over again I look, to see whether did I said anything wrong tat she dun wan to reply me? Nvm I told myself to wait again until its 6pm + where she have to prepare for work, if she’s at home..

Still no news, by 7pm+, ard 8pm+, I was dejected.. I asked Duck out to have dinner wif me, tog wif a frd long time nv c, Xiang Rong.. He had kfc 4 dinner after which we have a conversation, while duck was playing Sf4. Well he was really so fortunate.. Oh ya we start mentioning abt the later topic where I am gonna say below, cuz the ger whom I mentioned very sexy, gd at basketball n everytime come wif diff guys de, showed up at the arcade again..

XR told me tat this kind of ger he wan also happy, however, this kind would not be a wife material, but just a fling material.. Oh I mentioned tat he was fortunate cuz he have a gf who was of a wife material. I saw him n his gf a few times, n I agreed wif him. I also wan to find this kind of ger, but just like wat he said, this kind very hard to find, need to depends on frds to intro..

She nv make up, already got the natural beauty, and it’s the kind of guai type, who is loyal n faithful, nv go clubbing or disco, such kind of complicated places.. XR is her 1st bf n the tot of it just makes me envy so much.. This kind of description just makes me think of my ex’s niece, michelle. She resemble such category n her bf now, must be the 1st 1 n definitely very fortunate indeed..

Outside confirm very hard to noe this kind of ger.. Heard him said many things, he also say find wife material must find like tat. Fixed minded, stable in the heart, loyal to him n they really spent quality time tog, no matter where they go, or weekends just stayed at home to spend quality time wif each other.. Such kind of gers have low maintenance cost, unlike his ex gfs when he was young, very gd at making up, making own self very beautiful, their own beauty is more impt, has very high maintenance fee..

Spent a lot of $ on them.. Anyway wished him all the best, cherish this kind of ger n such kind I can only hoped but not wan… My love life not gd at all, everytime met the wrong kind of ger.. Well after tat, I am here now blogging b4 watching a movie n then gg home to rest 4 tml’s work.. It was already passed 9pm, the time she would take over the work from her previous shift..

Nope I still haven’t heard from her at all.. I guess I am totally dishearten n disappointed le.. I just leave things naturally, dun wan to let it bothered or affect me further.. Its not the 1st time I experience such sudden change of hot n cold from her.. Am I really so easily fooled? Need my company or entertainment, then come find me, dun need me completely ignored me.. I am not blind.. In actual fact from ever since the 1st time she left me, we got tog n now such situation, I am very aware of her feelings towards me..She might not be aware of her own heart, but I am very clear of wat’s her attitudes n feelings towards me…

I am merely some1 to be by her side when she needed me n my company.... I am a fool..

(Stop blogging on 18th Jan 2010 at 10.16pm)

bubbles of sadness.