____________['[*Moments Sharing*]']___________

Updates for 19th Jan – 24th Jan 2010 Tue - Sun
(Start blogging on 24th Jan 2010 at 10.11pm)

Overall view

Well I am really feeling very tired lately that I dun really got the mood to blog.. Mentality as well as physically tired I am.. Anyway since life is about to go back to where I left off, I shall blog again as n when.. I dun really have the energy to blog from day to day basis, so this time round I just blog in the area of fields I am gonna say, in terms of categories in life…

Love

Well love life for this week wasn’t great at all. Though there’s some memorable moment for me to jolt down, it was very short lived.. the beginning of this week, it was a dreadful feeling, as something bad happened as usual to the old days.. Some woman in this world are really so scary, that it makes my heart shiver.. Can u imagine their heart can be so unsettled and wavering so easily at some small little things tat they can treat a person hot n cold, unbelievably fast. This week, I just experienced 2 colds n 1 warm..

The moment they spent time wif 1 person, they could really fall in love as though its so sweet n loving couple. The next moment they spent time wif the other, starting though is cold, but after some small gestures from the other, they start to soften n fall in love wif the other n treat the 1st 1 cold.. Tat’s not true love to begin wif..Still rmb when I was experiencing my true love in sec sch, my love for my first love was so strong tat no other woman is in my eyes, no other woman can enter my heart as it was filled completely wif my 1st love…

What I wanted to find in life, is someone who only sets her eyes on me, nobody else, but just me.. It would be a solid love, wifout other motive being wif me, in terms of my stability alone.. Looking for stability is no diff from just using $ to buy companionship.. Such kind of love is not wat I wanted.. My goals would be to have a warm n loving family in future, not a beautiful looking hse for others to see, but inside it’s cold winter cuz $ cannot buy true love…

Thurday nite was a very happy nite for me, I felt so deeply in love, in fact all the way stretched until fri nite, but I guess once the dream has awakened, everything just seem like a pack of lies… In actual fact, fri wasn’t something entirely happy for me, cuz I just experienced something dreadful, which I felt in the past. Can u imagine gg out wif some1 who have the heart of another? In the past, I experienced companying some1 to HDB to settle some housing matters, when the matter is not concerned abt me but other person..

This time round is of no diff.. I always received such kind of treatments, which deemed as low impt.. I am not a young children, I am still a human being.. Even though I may seem younger, I do deserve some form of respect as a human being, not to be mistreated like this… I have feelings too, some1 who truly loves me, would be able to spare a tot for my feelings as well.. Of cuz some1 who truly loves me, would nv occur in such a situation, as her heart already belongs to me alone, n mine, completely belongs to her…

Dun have to be tog, while wif another person where he deems so stable tat she needs him at the same time she needs me.. True love dun share ppl, or used 1 another to cover the emptiness which 1 cannot give.. Nobody is perf in this world.. U love the person, u love the person in 1 full piece.. I dun wish to be treated like a scrap cloth, used to temp mend the broken parts in the cloth..

Simple cuz the person u r wif, does not able to provide 100% u desire, using me to temp fill up the missing % in ur life has always been unfair to me… In the past, is always like tat, even present is still the same.. I am terribly heartbroken now, but anyway given this kind of situation I would nv consider to be wif such a person, as she cannot give the warm n loving family in future..

Haven’t even tog, already treat me like tis, even if tog le, it might even get worsen… I ought to consider tat in the past, but I nv does tat… Apparently I am always being considered as the last option when none of them works out.. Tat’s where we started tog, but in the end, when some1 enters, there goes everything n the usual things starts again.. This is too much for me to bear…

After tis terrible incident happened again, immediately the next day after the happiness moment, I really have to think abt it.. Have to be firm n not let anybody hurt me like tis once again.. I wan sincere ppl in my life, not making use of me for other reasons… n dump me after tat when I am no longer in need anymore…

Work

I begin my temp job at Jurong East Area, it was a dreadful 1.. I dun really like the job, cuz its tele marketing.. Already no choice but to do it, cuz I needed the cash to carry on waiting for MBS, but wats worst was, its not calling local ppl, but overseas.. I can’t imagine talking on the phone thru all the long at work..Work is not just only an hour or so, but it’s a long 8 hrs.. time would be hard to move on..

Imagine talking to strangers all over the world, some reception wasn’t very gd, their language n accents very hard to catch.. I have prob hearing well, what they were talking abt..But thankfully, I received a call from MBS n the news of them starting training have finally arrived.. It was a long 1 yr + of wait for my nxt full time job after dec 2008.. Training will commence 22nd Feb, but I have still not yet cleared my casino licence..

So because of this issue, I am still afraid tat I might get rejected.. So hopefully, when I get my 1st few pay, I need to clear my credit card debts 1st, so as to have ntg to stop my career path from flowing.. Stable job, ya, I dun wan to let ppl mock n look down on me, tat I dun even have a stable job.. So ppl left me cuz I dun have 1 stable job, leave by all means, at the very least I can noe true love or not..

Family

So far, family is quite quiet, ntg much to mention abt it, cuz its peaceful, there’s no argument or anything bad, neither were there happy moments as well…

Health

I think my health is starting to go downhill.. My head hurts even while blogging now.. I am feeling tired everyday.. Not able to have any strength to do anything.. I think partly was because I can really slp very well every nite.. I just wake up suddenly at all times.. Guess I have too much things in my mind tat cuz me to lose my slp… Some how only on thurs nite I can really have a gd slp tat I actually snored…

Well tired ppl are always like tat when u finally can slp soundly… Furthermore, snoring also occurs when nose is completely blocked n u have no choice but to slp wif mouth open. 1 person can not commit suicide by holding own breathe.. So naturally while in slping mode, when not able to breath thru nose, the mouth will automatically open to breathe in air…

Friends

Well only few frds to update. Sat was a day when ben comes down to play cards wif us.. Wil have work in the evening time, so meet them for cards game at early afternoon, played until 4pm plus he left.. nel company gf, so ended up the 2 of us were like rotting ard waiting for nel to come.. It was like ntg to do, so we try to find things to do like, playing his itouch games and gg to arcade to play games..

After which, Kit comes back from work so we headed to have dinner n chat for some time b4 nel called me at ard 9pm+ tat he’s coming over after sendin his gf off.. It was a long dreadful wait of 5 hrs.. When he came, we started playing when kit left home.. Well initially I was winning quite well, but as usual, when love prob strucks me painfully again, my whole life jus seemed like collapse..

I can’t function well, n I went straight to losing streak, cuz I wasn;t in the mood to play at all.. I even excused myself a while to send a long sms, which I expected nobody would reply me back.. Cuz my heart was so soury tat I find it hard to sit still n I need some air outside mac… Anyway after which I came back n just play until wil arrive n carried on playing until 3 am+ where we went home…

Didn’t really meet up any frds, but another 1 to update would be 1 of my SIM frd, Amanda. Nv expect she would be joining me to be my colleague at MBS, but just tat we would be diff dept. However, hers is also shift work, so maybe we can company each other for meals during break time.. I am supposed to meet her this afternoon (Sun) to help her wif many administrative stuffs, which I have did b4, but since her tuition was postponed to tml, so will meet her tml evening after my work instead.

Another update would be my oversea frd, at Batam.. Well I really appreciate her at times cuz if she wasn’t there to motivate n encourage me, I would still be so sulky.. However, this week she also have some family probs wif her bro, coming to batam to stay, but end up like led astray like tat.. So she was so upset after quarrelling wif him, so this time round, its my turn to help her by lending her a listening ear..

Lastly is a long time frd, seldom meet but saw him in camp during my reservist. He called me this afternoon, to invite me to his 21st birthday lunch party on CNY eve.

(Stop blogging on 24th Jan 2010 at 11.04pm)

bubbles of sadness.