____________['[*Moments Sharing*]']___________

Updates for 25th Jan – 30th Jan 2010 Mon - Sat
(Start blogging on 30th Jan 2010 at 11.50pm)

Overall view

Hmm overall, it’s a very empty week for me, just for a few special activities like gg for to settle my MBS stuffs on Tuesday evening, settling something for my army stuffs on fri, and some special encounter during fri nite while playing cards wif wil n ben…until now, I am alone at mac, starting my blogging activities while listening to my songs..

Love

My love life is gg on a downslope worst than last week. Well though things are roughly the same old things, but there’s completely no happiness, not even the slightest bit at all this week.. There’s no warmth, no love, plain cold winter this week.. Actually this is so called the last week of the month where it could be the very last time for me to spend time with some1 I love, but since we have reached a stage of long term coldness, I used the off day on fri spending time alone instead, on the whole of daytime..

I have decided not to be a puppet of anybody anymore.. Yup for so long, I have always been treated like a puppet, used to fill up the emptiness in some1 else heart n when doesn’t need me anymore, can just say all sort of reason n dump me as usual.. Its not the 1st time actually, n being picked up n dumped countless of times until my heart is numbed… If a ger truly love me, I doubt she would do such kind of things to hurt me… We would really be happy tog n working things out thru all the hardships of the unsmooth reality of life, towards a warm n loving family in the future…

Instead, I was hurt n mistreated badly in this way for so many times… And furthermore, its hurting me this kind of way, which is extremely hurtful n painful, more than any amount I can say… Hmm Valentine’s Day is drawing near, seems like I’m gonna spend this yr’s v day by myself as well. Heard from ex tat, her niece can cele wif me, I am ok with the plan as well. If its confirmed, I shall have to make the necessary planning on the activities for the day, cuz a lot of things would be unavailable if no bookings were made.

Note: What do you think of a guy n a ger, be it on status or not on status, staying under the same roof? Well even if there’s anything or nothing happened at all, its still no difference from there’s something which happened…Extremely dejected… Well I bet on a sat nite, it would be the same as the fri nite as well…

Work

Work will have quite a number of things to fill up for this week. Tele marketing job is still resuming on this week, I really dread gg to work everyday n spend 8 hours on work, talking on the phone, calling overseas ppl, where we were like talking diff langs, esp when they dun understand eng n I dun understand their lang as well.. My throat gets quite bad actually, talking for so many hours…

I cherish my voice cuz I love singing, so very scared I hurt my vocal chords n I can not speak n become muted.. I tried drinking lots of water n herbal tea, as well as lozenges to soothe my throat, but seems like its not helping at all… Tues I have to go to Mountbatten Square to re-sign my employment agreement form, take a photo for my id pass, finger print n try out the size of my uniform. So I went on halfday, but since they need to settle something, I decided to stay in office until 2pm b4 I leave office for lunch n go to mountbatten at Kallang Area..

The appt was at 5pm, so I was early n decided to go to bugis to have my lunch, since after asking ben, there’s ntg to eat near Kallang Mrt.. Go bugis eat, at least still can go arcade there to play abit to kill time.. I ask feeling dejected having to eat my lunch alone, but was so lucky tat I met Sherman there, cuz he skipped his poly for the day n was waiting for his frds. So I pulled him along to company me lunch n arcade to play…

Hmm playing there was ok, cuz I nv expect to spend only a few credit n I made quite a number of wins, b4 its time for me to rush to Mountbatten. The briefing was supposedly 3 hours, but nv expect only took me an hour an its finished.. The only disappointing part was the uniform.. The shirt was golden yellow, silky type, pants is gray colour, so is the vest.. The only thing I’m satisfied was the vest…

Wed at work, my colleague on leave, so on left wif my boss.. She usually dun go out eat, cuz she’s very busy, so asked me to go outside n buy for her… Means its lunch alone again.. So I brought the 5 love lang book to company me while I am dining alone outside.. y I stated the book was cuz my boss notice the book n borrowed it to read.. So I let her do the quiz and she was more of the physical Touch person.

Then after which, spent the rest of the day talking n sharing our personal matters. Nv expect we can talk until so much.. Hmm her story was also quite sad, tat’s the reason y she so long still single.. Since I am not gg to disclose her identity, so I can mention her age here.. She’s ard 10 yrs older than me, means 36 this yr.. Her last r/s broke up around 5 yrs ago… their broke up was not cuz of a 3rd party, but it was cuz she initiate the break, which was supposed to be temporary for each other to cool down, while keeping contact wif each other, as they seem to encounter some probs in the r/s, which seems very hard to solve as a result of quarrels n stress built up..

However, its only a month’s time n this guy actually got himself a gf already.. So she was very heartbroken n I can understand her pain as I have exp tat wif my ownself as well.. The feeling at tat time for her, was so painful tat she doesn’t noe this kind of feelings, which was very new to her.. She realized it tat it was called depression…Total Depression, where ur heart feels so heavy, so soury tat u find it hard to carry on ur life normally.. U dun have appetite, u can’t chew n swallow ur food, u can slp, life was totally affected badly…

She’s also like me, took very long time to recover from a broken r/s.. But now she’s alright.. She was firm n hard hearted.. Glad for her tat she has recovered.. Thurs came, we headed out for lunch tog n the other colleague was back from leave, 33 yr old de.. they decided to have something ex for lunch, I was worried cuz I am on low budget, but cuz I dun wish to object them, so just head on wif them…

The restaurant was at IMM, can’t rmb wat’s the name of the restaurant, but it serves all kinds of food, got Chinese, western, thai, all kinds.. I ordered chicken cutlet set and it serves wif mushroom soup, ice-lemon tea, barley ginko dessert. It taste great! Worth the money.. After lunch, my boss was so eagered and ask the other colleague to do the quiz as well, ended up I can’t rmb wat was her love langs, though I rmb there’s 2 love langs for her…

Fri I asked for off already, so I nv go to work.. Yes I specially planned to spend it wif my love 1, but ended up I spend it alone… I supposed to have medical review in the morning on fri, as I have to postpone it until further notice from TTSH appt, so ended up got some matters cropped up, I have to call my own unit n have the appt postponed to end of March period..

Family

Also nothing much for the family side as well, just tat I have been home early on weekday nite to spend a bit of time wif my eldest niece n nephew, then just on Sat, cuz I spent overnite outside until Sat morning, so I slept from then until Sat afternoon, my 2nd sis come wif her husband n baby daughter to visit my mum. So I get to spend some time with my niece.

Health

Health wasn’t very gd as usual, I was so lethargic n as I have stated my throat is getting discomfort.. So was my sinus prob.. I have always been not in a very healthy status since young.. Will speak more about it in the friend’s section..

Friends

I have quite a number of things to blog about friends.. Its gonna be a long list on this section for this week..1st let me talk about my oversea friend, living in batam.. Well something happened between us, not the sexual kind or wat, but its something unpleasant or rather uncomfortable I guess.. Well she has been a very nice ger towards me, showing her care n concern when I needed it badly..

In return, I support her emotionally as well when she was facing her downs.. So far, there’s no friction or rather not much friction btw us, except the communication probs, which results in many misunderstandings.. Just 1 nite, cuz my heart was feeling very heavy n down, I can’t slp, which I think was a thurs nite, where something really very sad happened n I dun wish to say it here…

So she asked me wat’s the meaning of my sms as well as my msn nick, “a puppet no more”. So I begin to open up to her something about my ex.. as she keeps asking. Being the honest type I share wif her somethings and told her I am still missing her, thinking of her and haven’t gotten over her yet as I gave all my heart to my ex, when we were tog… Well she got emotional n was very unhappy…

Its where the tension starts… She said tat she felt tat I treated her as a substitute, to fill up the emptiness in my life… Well I told her honestly tat she is she, my ex is my ex, I treated every1 individually.. I dun used her to replace her temporary for my emptiness.. Otherwise I am no diff from her as well… I am not such kind of person.. So she just said she hope tat I am speaking the truth n she believes in me..

Well we are not even tog… she gave me a pleasant feeling, unlike the pains n hurt my ex gave me.. but she makes me feel as though she was my gf already n was like getting so worked up over this issue..as though I cheated her feelings while wif her n thinking n missing my ex… So I told her I was very unhappy about this and things got better after clearing the air.. So I just put this topic down until here…

2nd issue was my sim frd, Amanda, since she was gg to be my colleague soon, though at diff dept, she has lots of documents to fill up n settle. Since I have exp wif all these troublesome stuffs, so she came over to SP to find me after giving her tuition on Mon, to have dinner wif me n help her wif her doubts on the documents to fill up..

3rd was some1 which sends my heart shivers.. It was the vivo city incident tat haunts me each time I recall.. Well she send me msg, changed her msn add, asking me to add her.. she even called me but I just nv answered them.. Yup I am on withdrawal symptoms now, n distant myself from some1 I felt unpleasant n uncomfortable wif..

4th, some1 msg me online asking me to be friends with her.. Seldom got ger so initiative to approach a guy online to add as a frd… Well I looked at her profile, she confirm must be those kind like my 1st ex.. Not very high in education, have probs wif boyfriend, or just break up, heart felt empty then come n approach guys… Well being the tester, I replied her msg n yup all my guessing r true.. She works as sales like in outlets, bf just broke up wif her.. Cannot stand emptiness, so wan to be friend wif me…So I just as usual, help her wif a can, lending her a listening ear, she pour her story to me..

5th was meeting up with Jason Bear just now for dinner at kfc and chatting with kit after he comes back from his genting trip, before I start blogging. Well he told me space shot was down for maintenance, have a scary encounter at the haunt mansion n the Ripley’s believe it or not. He knew another frd named Serene and I wonder y this name has made me so sensitive and I ask him who is was haha.. I let kit do the love lang quiz n his was words of affirmation and physical touch..

Last but not least, on fri nite, I have a cards session wif ben n wil, until there comes 2 china ger coming to mac at around 4am plus. They were acting so funny tat it caught our attention. Ben finds them cute and told me tat they are his type of ger.. Wat’s so funny was they keep taking photos wif their hp.. Not those kind of normal taking, but acting cute… So exaggerating tat all angles also they take.. It kind of makes me feel disgusted, but ben just likes it.. Besides tat, they play until they spill 1 of the hot drinks on the floor.

So after a while, they signal out to me and ask me if they can join us for the cards game.. So I asked the group and they all agreed.. So we cancelled our game and they joined our table.. She beginning asking us whether we know this game, I dunno really noe how to describe, but it sounds really complicated.. Its like taidi, but in a different n more profound way to play, which only consist of 3 players per game.

After playing for a while, we pick up quite fast.. but after playing a few rounds, we started to talk tog. They spoke about their hometown and how they ended up here at sem, where their hostel is at aljunied area. They looked very matured but can’t believed tat their age were 15 and 16. Quite independent they are, coming here to study and their family were strict wif them.

So now they were kind of lost here, ended up at sem as they were here only barely a month. Then they started to talk abt a topic which interest me a lot. It’s abt palmistry n I was so surprise tat they noe a lot of such knowledge at such a young age.. At first I was very cautious about letting ppl c my palm, cuz who noes black magic can happened.. But after seeing how accurate they mentioned about ben n wil, I started to draw near to listen..

Then they asked for my palm..they c le n tell me many things tat was scary true.. I felt so naked n exposed as though they can c thru me.. So scary.. As usual I was very concerned about my love life, they said my love life is very messy, cuz I am caught up in a r/s, which I cannot 4get about the ger.. It is true.. So if keeps like tat, is not very gd for me, cuz if the ger is meant for me, she would be mine.

Then she said I am the kind hearted, honest n gd natured type. Gentleman, Xi4 Xin1, caring towards my love 1. Will cherish my love 1 well, but easily being taken advantaged of, made used by ppl.. So advice me to not put in 100% for a r/s, which I always throw everything out, and told me to keep 10% for myself nxt time.. As for how many children I’ll have, its not like children tat time, squeeze the palm area n c the wrist to c the no of child, but they see it at other place of the hand..

Then they look at my wealth, they say I dun have savings cuz I spend a lot on unexpected expenses, no matter how hard I tried to save, i just can’t save much, but I have a wealthy life in future.. From wat I c now, I dun find it true until future really comes.. The aura reader also said I am undergoing changes in my life now, I also dunno how true it is.. whether I really will be FU4 Gui4 or not.

As for my health, they said not very gd… ya its true.. though they nv say, but I always felt tat I am short lived.. cuz from young, my body very poor health…Sensitive nose, very easily sick de… Headache, sinus, flat foot, injuries here n there… The rest of the things, I can’t rmb much.. But they say I am very smart person..witted to be exact.. Then after which, their uncle have come to fetch them home wif the car, so b4 the left, they asked to exchange numbers wif us b4 they left.

Then now, I am at mac, they asked me to go out wif them, but I pushed them to ben haha cuz ben stay near them.. Lucky I nv go, cuz I noe cfm spend a lot of $. I told them I have something to do at mac, with my laptop, so can ask ben to company them. Heard they went to play pool at doby ghaut, wil went to join them after work. Of cuz they treated the pool game.

After which heard from wil tat they gg pub n wa.. wil is otw home n he called me haha. Cuz he tml got work, so he’s not joining them, but ben is bringing them there. I think its gonna be an expensive trip for ben. I’m glad I didn’t go! Ok time to watch a movie b4 I go home n call it a day..

(Stop blogging on 31st Jan 2010 at 2.14am)

bubbles of sadness.