____________['[*Moments Sharing*]']___________

Updates from 10th Jan 2010 – 17th Jan 2010, Sun - Sun
(Start blogging on 16th Jan 2010 at 11.48pm)

Sunday 10th Jan

It was a day which I was preparing my mood to go for my very first reservist after deferring for a few times.. For a person like me, not in job, would definitely not be happy to report for reservist. This is because, if I were to have a office job now, I would be able to take a break n go camp instead. At least its better than working n stressing over work matters, so gg reservist was like a vacation for the employed ppl.

I spent the day preparing my army stuffs b4 gg out to enjoy the remaining of my weekends. I think if I can rmb correctly, I spent the nite watching Romeo & Juliet, acted by Leonardo Dicaprio.. It was a modern type of Romeo n Juliet, using guns n bullets instead of the old swords type.. So its not very original.. However, despite tat, I still grief over the ending..

The current me now, think really doesn’t suit watching this kind of tragic ending.. It just nv failed to be sad over the death of a deeply in love cpl, over the feud btw the 2 great power families.. Imagine romeo creeping into Juliet’s room, It was so romantic, as well as thrilling, having to worry tat he would be caught by the rest of the ppl.. The most grieved part was tat, the priest’s letter didn’t managed to get to Romeo’s hands, hence it just caused the tragic in the end…

Monday 11th Jan

1st day of in camp training.. I am supposed to report at 7.30am.. Appreciate mm’s morning call n I was on time for meeting my camp mate at mrt station there, waiting for him to drive here, but ended up he was caught in the traffic, hence I have my breakfast there until he arrive.. We ended up reaching ard 8am, only to find tat there’s many late comers as well..

I wanted to report with the scanning of my 11-B, but cuz of my hair cut rejected, I need to cut my hair b4 I can report.. Hence I was feeling so down, having to get my hair cut by the barber there.. I was not given a chance to get my hair cut outside. The queue was super long, so queuing until 9.30am, we were told to report to the auditorium 1st as the CO would be giving a speech.

After which then I go for the haircut, which cost 5 bucks.. It was damn ugly n I look like a nerd.. Anyway 1st day was like ntg much, only lecture n videos to watch.. around 5pm + then can book out.. Went home to wash up n stayed at home?

Tuesday 12th Jan

2nd day of reservist, mm gave me a morning call as well, got up n prepared n go to camp again.. the whole day was like lecture n video.. It was very tiring indeed.. we endured until its time to book out from camp.. After which, I meet mm at SP for dinner at foodcourt. We had a fruitful chat b4 heading to popular to purchase some books. She bought 2 books, The 5 love languages and she gave the men’s edition for me to read..She wrote something on the book, but I just sense stg’s amiss..All I noe was, there’s IPPT on nxt day and need to report early at 7am.

Wednesday 13th Jan 2010

This was a very boring n sick day at the beginning in camp. Because the day b4, as I was excuse IPPT, I have to volunteer to be the road marshaller for the 2.4km. I was supposed to stay back after 5.30pm ytd for the briefing, but becuz it was raining n my camp mate was driving me to Boon Lay Mrt, so I need to rush off wifout the briefing, asking my sergeant to cover for me..

Ended up I showed up with PT attire for the marshalling task, while they were in their smart fall.. This result in me becoming food for the mosquitoes at the area.. Road marshalling would be much fun when there’s no mosquitoes.. After tat, we changed back to our smart fall n wait for the training to resume.. Its only a short period of training yet, so many things to do..

Cuz they wan many amendments to be made for our uniforms, we were told to go to beach road immediately tonite to make our uniforms.. it was so inconvenience for everybody as so many ppl would be crowded there to make the changes.. It requires quite a no of sewing to be made. The logo of our unit, the Singapore word, and change our names from camo cloth to another kind..

Furthermore, camp was at 1 end, I need to travel to town area to make n then headed back to Sem.. It was so time wasting.. Luckily my camp mate offered to help me settle my name stuffs, then nxt day he will help me to sew it onto my uniform. So I went home to get the rest of the stuffs settled and call it a day.. What a busy nite..

Thursday 14th Jan 2010

Finally it’s the 2nd last day of reservist, but it was the busiest day in camp.. The training commence of sending the theories into practical. So morning was busy with the carrying of all the heavy stuffs out in the hot sun to set up a boundaries which would be used during wartimes. Due to the heavy security stuffs, I am not allowed to describe my army activities here, for fear of being charged.

It was hot indeed n it was during this kind of things, where u can c who’s the helpful 1, who’s the lazy 1. My heart just wanna get it over n done wif, so just try my best to offer wat I can help, but at the same time slack a bit haha. Endured until afternoon, where we get to keep our things, but sad thing was, I am not able to leave camp early today as need to stay back for the happy hour thingy..

Something sad which affect me very badly in the afternoon, but I dun wish to talk or reveal lots of things here.. There was a sudden change in a person’s attitude n behaviour towards me again. It really makes me very hard to adapt such change. I still rmb the very 1st time I met this person, she told me on the phone tat she’s not the kind who would change over nite, but ended up, she’s also the same…

Furthermore its not the 1st time already.. I was so lost, disturbed n vex.. my heart felt very heavy n I sms an oversea frd n I was so surprise tat she replied me so fast. Though her intention was kind, but due to me being a pessimistic person, her way of comfort in a –ve way just makes me feel worst. However, she quickly apologize n her concern was received, so I appreciate her for tat when I was feeling so down..

Happy hour was very filling, where I ate quite a no of food at the buffet. Got satay, rice, chicken, fish, mushrooms, dessert, otah, prawns, etc.. Furthermore, there’s beer n wine. My camp mate gave me the beer, but since studies have said tat beer increases female hormones in our body, so I dun really like to drink beer.. So I drink a lot of wine instead.. However, it was not of very gd quality, I drank it bitterly…

My camp mates start sharing wif me there interesting exp overseas, like gg Bangkok and JB to have fun.. all the places they mentioned, was like brand new stuffs to me, cuz I have nv been to b4.. They told me tat b4 marriage, must really have lots of fun n enjoy myself, cuz after marriage, its too late to enjoy life anymore.. After all the bad experiences I have, my heart starts to feel so confused..

They wan to bring me ard, but I just say I’ll put tat into consideration as an eye opener nxt time.. After the whole thing, I can’t rmb wat I do.. Either I go to the arcade to relieve my stress or I just went home straight…

Friday 15th Jan 2010

A week has passed since the memorable day has passed.. It was another fri, but here I am in the army, last day of the reservist.. I woke up very late in the morning, cuz mm was not working, so there’s no morning call. The alarm clock didn’t help by waking me up.. Seems tat I really depends on her a lot.. How can I survive when I very day she leave me? Not many ppl coming in my life would gimme morning call like she do..

I have to be strong n be independent so tat when I am alone, I have to do everything myself, until I found my soul mate in future.. Hence I was late for camp, reaching at 8am +. Basically there’s ntg much for us to do on the last day, just slacking around here n there.. Afternoon came, also basically ntg much for us to do, except for those NS men needed to go to Taiwan Exercise during may have to get injection n do lots of admin stuffs..

After which ard 3.30pm, its IPPT session for those ppl who failed ippt on wed. Hence we hav to wait for them to finish b4 able to out pro from out reservist. But nv expect ard 4.20pm, we were able to go off le, so I hurried to leave camp n headed home to wash up, get all my things n headed to amk hub to get a haircut. I’m mtg mm for dinner n movie. Initially I tot the haircut would not take so long as my hair was already so short, just need my hairstylist to amend abit would be sufficient. Mm have finished her things, so she came over to wait for me.. After which we headed to nebo to have our dinner. As I have suggested tat 1 set would be very filling, so we agreed to share a meal..

We chat awhile there until its time for the movie, “The Spy Next Door” to start. It was a Jackie Chan movie. Initial we want to catch “Hear Say”, but since there’s only 7.20pm slot, we cannot make it on time, but Jackie Chan movie, nv failed to entertain us with his comedy actions.. However, we can c tat Jackie Chan is really showing signs of aging, as his action moves weren’t as many or complicated as his past movies, when he was young.
Overall, the movie is still not bad..

After which, its time she needs to go.. Still rmb in the past, she dun have any curfew, but seems like there’s so much restrictions now.. Yup things were just not the same as the past anymore.. Anyway, she went home 1st, while I went to some where to use my laptop for a long hours of 4 hours? Then after which where I meet her again.. Repeat the things we did in the past, reminiscing the sweet memories tog.. Anyway tat’s all I have to say, keep the sweet moments to myself.

Saturday 16th Jan 2010

It was a boring day n also a very sad day indeed.. I woke up in the afternoon as I didn’t really slp last nite. I charged my laptop while using the internet.. Basically it was like ntg to do at home anymore, but just rotting. My agency actually mentioned to me about a temp job she has got for me, but until now, I did not receive any calls from anybody..If by this weekend, still no calls, mon I would be calling my agency to check up wif her..

Most probably I think other ppl have gotten a job…N I have to find another temp job already.. Yes I admit tat I am very low n down now, which I seem to be relying much on others, if I were to have gf.. However, looking at the surface or present matter, I may seem at a disadv, ppl might not be able to wan me.. but its alright, Its usually when 1 person is down, only u can c the true heart of other ppl ard u..

I dun blame ppl for choosing to leave me at such time, for other ppl more stable than me.. I am sure in future, there would be 1 who would truly love me n appreciates me for who I am. However, if when I am stable, then only some gers starts to flock ard me, or considering me to be stable, my mindset would be diff by then.. I would choose to be wif those who r able to undergo thru wif me thru thin n thick..

Love is not only abt the present state, whether u r able to led a stable life or not.. The future is always changing now, the value of a person now would be diff, depending on the changes in the future…I may be of low value now, but I am capable I would be a loving hubby in future. I wan some1 who can achieve the goal of a warming n loving family in future..

A bread which looks gd n appealing now, might turn out to be stale in the end.. In this practical world, I have to open my eyes wide.. I would still have this believe tat love is still the most impt than any bread, which is an empty shell.. True love can nv be purchase by any amt of $, but its so priceless n valuable tat it weights much heavier than any gold on earth…

I believe if a cpl were to be tog, truly love each other, they shld be mindful abt so many things, like age n financial status.. Love the person for who we r, really adapt into each other’s life n be adaptable.. Be flexible n work things out tog.. I hope to find a ger who can live tog wif me n sharing our life tog, wif what we have at the point of time, but not depending on how much we r able to enjoy tog…

If everything also have to deps on cash, then there’s no love to talk abt.. We cannot be a loving cpl like those which, lets say be flexible n stay in the parent’s hse after marriage for a few years, n careful planning every thing tog, depending on our capabilities.. I may be poor now, but once I start my full time job in few months time, things would be better..

Though I noe I might not be able to afford a car, a hse, a baby, but things can be plan.. Family planning is a long plan for life, not a few years to judge a person.. How long do a person have to wait actually? If its for life, its forever, not only a few yrs results.. Once the choice of choosing a person to live wif u, its forever. U r mine, I am urs. We work things out tog n live wif it, slowly improving n adjusting each other n fit into the environment.

Tat’s wat I would like to look out for a ger in future, not just having a fixed mind of, no hse cannot marry, no car cannot, no this, no tat cannot.. If we have to let the environment or resources to adapt to us, its gonna be tough.. Humans are living things, wif emotions.. The rest of the things are non living things. We shld be flexible n adaptable enough to adjust ourselves to the environment. Wat matter most is 1 uses own heart to put in effort in whatever they r doing.

Ok back to where I left out, I headed out to Sun Plaza in the evening time to do my routine again after army life is temporary stop for now again until the nxt reservist comes.. Headed to the arcade 1st n wait for nel to come b4 we headed to kfc for dinner. Total got newspaper boy, nel, kit, ding n duck wif me.. After which, they headed to arcade to play again b4 I headed to mac.

Well heart was as gd as dead when I knew wat’s going on in my life.. I dun wish to say it here, but from the timing of the sms, till it gone silence, I guess my predictions is correct. I dun have any thing I am able to comment abt such acts, but seems like no point talking much about it the next time, since the results would always turn out to be –ve. Not only do I have to say, I dun have to actually listen abt words of assurance like, feeling tired, probably not gg anymore, wan go home rest early. Cuz eventually, its still gonna be the same outcome as b4 the discussion starts.. That is just simply the feeling of being disheartened..

Ok so anyway I stayed at mac n played virtual tennis psp wif nel, ding n kit. Long time nv play le, end up dunno y like 4get how to play like tat.. Kit thrashed me in the last game, b4 he left n I am alone to start blogging. However, since I have no mood to blog, I stopped halfway n watch movie instead. Catch “Blades Of Glory” again n it nv failed to gimme a gd laugh no matter how many times I watch it..

Wil watch a bit when he came over to find me after his work n he was laughing madly tog wif me in mac.. But cuz he have work again in the morning, he went off to rest.. I also cannot take it, cuz I felt tired n there’s nobody there to help me look after my laptop for me, so I left ard 3am+ to rest at home..

Sunday 17th Jan 2010

I woke up at ard 12pm n online as usual.. Its ard 1pm + when mm online n talked to me.. Think from the time, she just came home not long ago ba… Dun wish to say anything much abt it.. Chat awhile n I use com until ard evening time, I prepare to go out wif my laptop for my routine stuffs.. think I am back to such boring routine again, since I dun really have much cash to have other luxury activities..

Think I shall wait until few more months b4 I start my full time job, stabilize everything n I think I won’t be at mac all the time.. I headed to arcade to wait for nel to come b4 gg to have dinner wif him.. After which company him to arcade to play game, n here I am completing my blog b4 I am going to start watching movie again, “Underworld Revolution”. Some times I really feel very happy receiving news like calls, sms and everything abt mm, but reality strikes really hard n it can be very sad.

Hope this happy moment dun be so shortlived.. Jus hope to stay as long as it can be..As happy as it can be..

(Stop blogging on 17th Jan 2010 at 11.43pm)

bubbles of sadness.