____________['[*Moments Sharing*]']___________

Memories for 28th June 2007 (Thurs) :
Well time really flies..It seems really so long tat I didn’t update my blog 4 ages once again.. My last blog was abt a nitemare tat has been gg thru 4 a couple of days, yet it seems like ages n hell those days were..This explains the reasons y I didn’t wish to pen them down & I start to avoid blogging..I can’t imagine myself typing all those stuffs out, as though I’m using my very own blood to type them out..

Yes..Those period of mine was indeed suffering n tormenting 2 my heart, soul n body..I went thru yet another lowest point of my life..Each time I managed 2 climb up, i fall hard again..Each time the fall, was much more severe than the previous..It is to such an extend tat I can even start resenting n cursing myself..Cursin y am I having such an ill-fated life.. Sometimes I really couldn’t carry on anymore wif such a life..

Lots of thinking hav been gg thru in my mind 4 these days..I’m really exhausted tat how I wish, I really can rest in peace n nv wake up facing all these pains anymore..However, each time I fall, seems like being picked up again, after again..I’m so confused n lost over me..Hav I really lost my ownself? Mr nice guy…such a term, always sounds so nice..But in reality, its not..Its always being taken advantage of..being cheated..being treated like a fool..A nice guy is really hard 2 be..Yet 2 becum a bad guy, though seems easy, but its really not wat I’m pursuing either..It jus really wasn’t me..I’m jus like a lost soul..Help any kind soul? Wat a joke…

Can’t really rmb the details as in day to day tat happened, partly cuz its been so logn since I update, oso cuz there’s somethings I dun wish 2 update or recall, yet I can’t avoid it…Well wat act happened on tis day..especially tis day.. Its still fresh on my mind as though its only ytd..I was carrying a very heavy heart when I go to work..Yet I still force myself wif a smile, carryin on the usual recent routine..

However, I dun wish to disclose too much abt wat actually happened..So will blog abt stuffs only on the surface..Haha..My blog is always so misleading, isn’t it?simply becuz I didn’t really disclose my full feelings to the blog but kept some as secrets..Let me carry on from where I stopped..Ser was still on mc..so morning I sms her an sms, till I waited 4 her 2 wake up b4 replying me..

At ard 10am, I received an sms while I was otw to HR for briefing wif Jul & John…Ended up I didn’t attend the mtg n was on the phone for a very long time..Briefing ended n they were still waiting 4 me, but I ask them to go back ofc 1st..Grace who interviewed me, asked to speak 2 me after I finish my phone, cuz I looked very troubled..After on the phone, I spoke 2 Grace after tat, but didn’t disclose anything much, jus saying I’m very stressed lately n couldn’t concentrate tat’s all…

I couldn’t take anymore half day from work as I hav been taking on mon n wed le..How vulnerable I was on tis very day.. I was helpless n weak..I couldn’t do anything at all.. but jus waiting 4 time 2 pass by..couldn’t eat n couldn’t slp.. My life was totally atrocious..It was totally different now, compared 2 when Ser 1st brought life in me..Now was like completely hell n darkness..It was so horrible..A shock which I couldn’t take it..

Finally time 2 knock off after painful waiting..I rushed 2 yishun northpoint to mtg Ser, as she went 4 foot massage..I haven’t been slping n didn’t eat anything since morning..i look hideous..Reached le, saw Ser..went 2 foodcourt to hav dinner..I didn’t managed 2 complete the food, cuz I really lost my appetite..I looked like a living zombie, who’s soul wasn’t wif its physical body…

After tat, headed 2 sem..the secret garden n have a chat..Had lots of things to say, but yet seems like didn’t even say out, n the conversation session didn’t ended well..After tat send her hm..Will everything be back 2 the usual after so many things happened?I really dunno..jus taking a step at a time.. Didn’t go hm but jus some thoughts tat came over me...Love…wat’s love? Something tat can be given up so easily?stg tat can be treated so lightly?

Love used 2 be so wonderful 2 me, yet wat seems 2 me now, love has taken away my everything.. love hurts, love sucks.. all those feelings tat had occurred..doesn’t really mean anything? Sayings tat love can overcome whatever obstacles tat comes btw us..Hmm yet its not really true in my case..i’m always the unlucky 1..wat I can do now was only placing a time bomb in my body, wonder how long I can carry on, 4 as long as possible..seems like a dying patient, who noes tat his days were numbered..Jus wanna spend his happiest moments wif his love ones, b4 leaving tis harsh n cold world..

bubbles of sadness.

*7:40 PM .

Thursday, July 05, 2007

Memories for 27th June 2007 (Wed) :
A very memorable n happy day to rmb, yet its oso the start of a very horrible nitemare at the end of the nite..Too much 4 me 2 handle...Morning i noe she's slpin..So i left my hse at 7.30am, knowing tat my mum will not allow me 2 take leave..So i went 2 buy breakfast 4 Ser..Reached her hse area but yet dun wanna disturb her rest, thus i waited patiently 4 her morning sms..Until ard 10am, i receive it..

So headed 2 her hse,i noe her hse got ntg 2 eat, thus i welcome her wif the breakfast..Then applied medicine on her eyes..Well her appt was at 3pm.Thus we watched a movie wif her laptop, dunno wat hongkong movie de..Not to 4get the I,H,K, MLx2, W...after tat Ser, Jan n me went to Jack's place to hav our lunch together..jan going out wif her frds, so the 2 of us headed to TTSH..Reached there find tat its not worth it 2 go..Cuz wat was received, is another eyedrop..

Consultation fee, 80 + bucks.. Then still have 2 wait here n there..Then pharmacy etc..Need pay $ 4 the eyedrop 2..Finally after tat,we then went 2 walk ard..She decides to enter John's little..So we had a walked there..1st time a gal ever picked lots of clothes n asked me 2 try..Then after trying, she act picked 1 of them n bought me a shirt..Felt so touched n it was really a very memorable moments indeed...

After tat, headed 2 have dinner, a small bite if i'm not wrong back to yck mac.. Then we seated there n have lots of hearty chat..Its so lively n warmth..Unlike the other few moments tat happens when the nitemare comes..Its so different from the moment now..Then we went 2 take a stroll ard..N finally the nitemare arrives...late in the nite..When we sit in a table..It was a call..A deadly call tat actually affects everything..So deadly tat everything chg so quickly..

Though tat nite Ser wasn't herself..I felt stg amiss but nevertheless i tried 2 stay calm n not stress her up further..giving her mental support, even though i myself felt terrible n worried..thus i left wif a smile on my face..Wat a nite to end...

bubbles of sadness.

*4:55 PM .

Memories for 26th June 2007 (Tue) :
Hmm didn't meet her on tis day but i went 2 work..Hmm her eyes didn't get better, thus go c doctor again..Then Jan company her there..Rmb i was so worried but i noe i can't leave my work too many times..Some more evening time got army training to attend.. So all the more can't leave..Afternoon no news from her so i thought she was resting at hm after visiting the doc..End up wif Jan outside...make me so worried...

After work, rush to army then i was late..Ended up 8.30pm then finish, reached hm 9pm..didn't bring hp along so Ser sms me 3 times, thinking i come back from army at 8.30pm..So i immediately call her back n explain 2 her abt it..ask abt her eye n she was refered 2 hosptial 4 check up.. Ok end up i decided 2 take leave again nxt day..

bubbles of sadness.

*4:49 PM .

Memories for 25th June 2007 (Mon) :
A very worried day..Cuz Ser has fallen sick..Have a swell on her left eye..Thus she didn't went to work..I was so worried tat i couldn't concentrate on my work, thus took a half day leave n rush 2 her hse to take care of her..True enough, her left eye was swollen n it hurts when i saw it..well had dumplings 4 lunch n applied eyedrops 2 her eyes..Nxt was watching her slp..Won't 4 get the memorable moments...I, H, K, ML,W...

After tat when she woke up,played audi using her laptop..Wa it was so hard using laptop to play.My fingers were too big 4 the small direction buttons..Dun even nid 2 say abt the 8ks.. BearBear n Janice (Ser's niece) were there too n we had an enjoyable time playing audi together..laughters n warmth filled the atmosphere..Finally its time to hav dinner n we headed 4 dinner at kfc?n have a hearty chat n stroll b4 sending her hm...

bubbles of sadness.

*4:38 PM .

Memories for 24th June 2007 (Sun) :
Its been so long tat i didn't blog le..Hmm well need 2 update to the latest i suppose..But its tough..Well currently i'm still updating the happiest time here, but yet the me now has just undergo a very terrible phases in my life..Its so terrible tat it seems like waking up from a nitemare..Perhaps tat's the reason y, i stopped blogging as penning them down was tough..though its oso another reason tat i dun have time 2 blog due 2 work..

Happy times 2day anyway.. Yup have an enjoyable time gg out wif Ser after ytd's outing wif Ser n her frds.. Hmm the nxt day have work, so have 2 send her back early..most impt is the updates 4 nxt day...

bubbles of sadness.

*4:31 PM .

Sunday, July 01, 2007

Memories for 23th June 2007 (Sat) :
A day when its full of awkwardness..morning meet Ser at her hse area, then we headed to seng kang cc to play badminton wif her frds..They were Yv, Jo n Hui.. Felt very awkward cuz 1st time having outing wif them..N plus i'm very quiet to ppl i'm not close wif..Lucky its cuz of badminton, got things 2 do, so i dun hav 2 speak tat much, but jus on the game..It was quite enjoyable..Then have 2 head hm again..cuz sweaty n need 2 wash up..

So part wif her at yck n headed hm prepare..Hmm mit her at yck mrt ard 3pm n we headed 2 dhoby ghaut 2 mit up wif the previous party again n walk to a place 2 eat lunch..They had wanton noodles.. Well cuz i dun eat noodles outside, thus i jus had a drink..Then we headed to mind's cafe n play some board games 2gether..Had the usual root beer float..N i felt out of place.. Like an extra..the finger food was diff from last time..

1st game, some memory game n it was q fun 2 play..Well had 2 rds..can't rmb the game name, but its like got a hse, u pick an animal n put it inside.. Every1 have their own animals sounds n then cards were distributed..each 1 open their cards 1 by 1 n if the same pic wif 1 person, c who call the sound of the person's animal 1st wins..2nd game we had pay day..Its my 1st time playing tat n its really fun 2 me.though only a max of 4 person, i dun mind being a banker..

Ok after tat we had the dinosaur game like heart attack..erhmm not really fun tis game..The final 1 was the train station to station game.. Tat 1 kills a lot of brain cells n from 4.30 - 6.30pm, they extend the game 1 more hr..Ser wasn't very enthu thruout except 3 starting..Maybe cuz she finds the game boring n stuffs ba..Then after the game, thought we planned on our own activities..but still carry on our activities wif them..

had dinner 2gether, chicken rice, then they had beancurd 4 dessert, b4 we stroll to cathay 2 check 4 movies..Ended up went cineleisure 2 watch..Reached there,watched late nite movie, so end up take a walk ard the shops n stuffs n have a seat at a place while waiting 4 the time 2 enter cinema..Had some words n memory games.. It was finally 11.30pm n we went in 2 watch Nancy Drew..The movie was q ok..

After tat we then proceed hm..Overall very awkward 4 the whole, but got try 2 speak to them..Took Nite Rider send her to her hse n decide whether 2 go mac awhile or her hse area 2 chat..it was very late by then..9.14.22.9.20.5.4 63 20.15 437 8.13 6 5.22.5.18.25.20.8.9.14.7 427736 14.1.20.21.1.12.12.25 88 23.5 228 13.1.11.5 5683 2.14.4 8463. 19.20.1.25 8455 1.12.13.15.19.20 5+ 2.4 4 7.15 46.

bubbles of sadness.

*4:01 PM .

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