____________['[*Moments Sharing*]']___________

Latest Updates

Haven't been updating my blog. Plain laziness, just to follow my current life is.. Hmm just some random updates as to how my diff aspects of life have become. of cuz starting wif my impt aspect in life.. of cuz, this is the lowest point i have ever reached in my 20+ yrs of life..

Love

Well far as i know, this is the 3rd month and 2 days since my broke up with Serene..The 2nd ger who ever become the impt person in my life.. Of cuz its the past now, she must be happily living her life with her new bf.. A perosn who made me love her so much, yet she the most heartless ger i have ever met.. As for wat cuz me to make such a remark,i dun wish to repeat the same thing over again.. The ppl ard me, noes how much i have suffered.. of cuz those close 1..THis almost 2 yrs r/s, was really a tough 1 i have been thru..

Well a miracle i would like to say is, the only ones ard me, who doesn't noe tat me n Serene are no longer tog, is my family.. Suppose to be the closest, yet they doesn't noe anything at all, still thinking we are tog.. Of cuz.. as usual, i would say the same thing, each time they ask me abt her, not showng up at our hse.. I would say, she's oversea working..frequently travelling.. I noe such excuses wasn't gonna dragged for long.. But i dunno wat else i can say...

Perhaps even until now, i couldn't believe it that she has already left me for another man.. Well i shld have noe it rite from the start, if our r/s starts this way, its not a surprise tat history will nv repeat.. its not the 1st time anyway tat she ditched me in this manner...Its just tat this time, the person is diff..Everything's different..

Anyway, just let time show everything ba.. Besides tat, i have to create some situations where i'm out late in the nite or gg out wif her to my family, so as they doesn't noe we weren;t tog anymore.. Simply say, she just came back to sg for a short while, so wanna mit her b4 she left sg again.. How naive of me, isn;t it? for goodness sake, she's wif another man now..

happily embracing in tat guy's arm, just like the pic on the facebook... Just like the time i saw her at amk hub wif him at the axs machine.. She's not worth my love at all.. anyway, when its time to reveal, it'll be...

Well recently, there's a news about this singapore edison chen, appearing in the newspaper.. i read the newspaper, even read his blog as well..Of cuz, all the videos were found in the blog.. Though i smypathy wif this man, as his love life wasn;t as good as i am, hence i'm able to understand how he feels..I'm equally feeling the same wif him.. After 2 such kind of r/s, i no longer have any hopes of finding a true love on this corrupted world...

I really dun trust woman anymore.. find it hard to have faith in them.. perhaps my mind have been mentally tortured for long.. esp my 2nd r/s..I experience lots of mental pressure.. though luckily, it didn;t drive me mad.. but just terribly heartbroken n hurt by this woman, whom i love her dearly.. i can no longer be myself, i lost myself.. i find it hard to trust anybody, esp woman...my love life seems terrible...

so much as i'm straight, i love woman, i hate them equally.. i yearn for true love, but i doubt i can find it.. ppl r more practical now.. its able money, stability, rather than love.. the security is oso linked to money..money can buy fake love, but not a true 1.. when a person have no money, the fake love is gone, not to talk abt true love...anyway the me now, is penniless, ntg to talk abt love.. Of cuz, ppl says, when a person is super down, if this woman who came by, is willing to stay by ur side, despite how low it is, this person doesn;t loves u for $ but its true..OF CUZ, its not those, who stops by to find some company, to play wif, to toy wif the feelings, n when its time to go, they just simply ditched u, when they dun nid u anymore.

Back to the sg edison.. Though i sympathy him, his act of having sex wif so many woman, is not accepted for my moral values are concerned.. Even if i'm not happy abt been cheated out of 2 r/s, the only prob lies wif the people in the r/s, not other outsiders.. i dun approved of using past r/s wounds, as an excuse to have sex wif other woman.. the ppl in the r/s who cuz those wounds are to be blame.. even ownself.. Life is a matter of choice n decision.. U chose to enter the r/s urself, to be wif the person u love.. partly, ownself have to b blamed.. I blamed myself for being silly, to love a woman i shld nv have love.. ended up, it got the worst of me..
I blamed myself for being stupid..

Family

Well things were the same in my family life.. ntg's change, just tat i spent quite some time at home, i c my baby niece much frequent now as i have no jobs n have no gf.. most of the day time is spent at home.. except for the late afternoon, where i usually will be out of the hse..spending time outside, until late in the nite... Hmm here's an update on my family tree..

of cuz my mum n dad.. both in poor health..esp my dad.. I hope they'll be healthy.. next up is my Big sis's family.. My big sis has change sch, from raffles girls sec sch, change to teach other sch, if i'm not wrong is river something.. She has 2 kids now.. though shld be 3 initially, as the 1st child, was a miscarriage... so the 1st baby niece is 3 yrs + le. Times really flies.. She's now in the new sch, of cuz back to living in my hse on weekends, as the sch is near our hse..

next up is a baby boy, her name is hua yu cheng. By the way, the baby niece name is hua yue ling. the boy has come to live wif us on weekdays too.. my mum had a hard time taking after 2 grand children. of cuz both are very cute! but, its really tough to handle them, even though i'm just helping my mum very little..the boy was like an attention seeker, only the times when he's aslp, are we able to do our own things, else he always wan ppl to look at him all the time.. sounds like a leo? but both of them are born in libras haha.

nxt up is my 2nd sis, married wif a baby daughter too. Her name was yun xi, another cute little baby.. ps, not all babies are cute in the appearance, i'm glad that the baby born were very cute.. my 2nd sis has been bringing her baby daughter 4 a visit at times in the weekdays, tog wif my big sis, as they were not working, but on maternalty leave.. however big sis start work not long ago, hence the no of times 2nd sis come, drop. (my big sis drives).

yun xi, is much more easier to look after.. cuz she can be left there on herself, n u can see her kicking her legs n moving her hands, talking to herself.. of cuz baby language which u dun understand as she has no teeth.. she seldom make noise n seldom cry.. well like my family said, she might be a talkative girl in future.. Well so tat's abt my 2nd sis..lastly, my bro.. well as usual, not on gd terms, nv talked to each other, just walking on thin ice, as long as nobody breaks the ice, no quarrels..

Friends

Hmm ntg much abt frds..everybody leading their own life.. frds of my age, have bfs n gfs, lived very far, so seldom contact.. my 2nd sch bro Derek, bz working. My jc bro, Kwen, oso bz wif his work. My 2nd jc bro, bz wif gf n lived at tampines.. mahjong kakis, of cuz not working, so can;t afford to lose $ on mahjong..Hence having been play ever since i have been on losing streak for a few times in a roll..

talking abt my frds who lived near me, hang out more often... all oso have their own lives as well.. who shall i talked abt 1st? old frds 1st.. jim, enter army, lucky chap, become an RP.. Kim Seng studying, on his path to be a chef..Lau eh, working in his frd's dad company.. seldom seem him.. recently we went to have dinner tog at sem shop centre at aston, n also went to watch bloody valentine's 3D version.. as for kia, mit him occassionally for a few times.. he's in Nee Ann Poly n involved in dragonboat..he's working part time for Poolz Connect, n into soccer betting..

well the canberra gang, very big in the past, but now split into different groups, after they grad from sec sch.. This is already expected of me, who's experienced it before..erhmm its so longwinded to talked about all of them.. cuz i have seen so many of the stuffs in them, that it really makes me odd, about the thigns tat happened ard them.. though i'm wif them, ages apart, i'm just an outsider..looking at their stories..

you can c them quarreling of different small things, at times they stop becoming frds, n by chance, things start to loosen up, they become frds again.. u can see those who are attached, break, then attached again wif the same or different ppl.. traditional eg will be hy n xy. break n patch so many times.. another happening case is girl A is wif nel, break up, be wif wil, then after tat break up wif kit.. then break up again.. another ger B, wif Wil 1st, then break up, wif Nel, n then break up again wif another guy..

These all reminds me the puppy love times when i was young.. of cuz.. my generation wasn't tat bad afterall.. my 1st love was at sec sch times..wasn;t a puppy love like them.. when u love this ger, u love this ger thru out.. even though we nv get tog for even once.. but my heart just doesn't chg so quickly like them..there's oso a few couples which were tog in the sec sch, i still even noe tat they are still tog after so long! A few were even married le..COngrats..for their case is, u like this person, then when its not ok, u like the other person very fast..

Well just a brief updates for a few of them ba.. wil, still mit up wif him most of the time,watch movie, play cards etc.. Ben, playing cards n mahjong majority.. nel, mostly mtg in the arcade..he's now into civil defence as a clerk, another lucky chap.. dingjie, a driver in my camp, when i was serving army.. kit, dinner occasionally n playing arcade.. he's into diving course if i'm not wrong.A good swimmer n a life guard?Having probs wif his legs, which got him in hospital for a few times.. still rmb the 1st time was after eating kfc, a rib n wings.. We Went genting to wif wil, ding n nel..Besides he helped me fixed my com..

Erhmm kw, he's always mia every now n then.. he's in NYP, noe a few frds, always not free ba.. seldom mit out nowadays, even though now its sch holis as well.. anyway hope he's doing gd.. erhmm nxt up, duckie.. always see him in the arcade..as him to company me eat dinner, etc.. he got a gf too.. Happy for him.. lastly, jason bear? Not much from him either, except mtg tog to play kof at times, n he's in army as a clerk n studying part time courses..

Career

About my career, ntg much.. i applied for my favourite job, Yamaha music School as a non musical job positions.. till date, heard ntg from them... Went to Career Fair at Suntec n applied for various positions at Casinos..Ended up until now, no news at all as well.. Applied several jobs online, none got back to me except for 1..Which now i start working 2 days this week le.. started work on Wed, n worked thurs as well..

Its only a part time, but i'm really running very tight on my finance.. I'm almost depleted soon, or rather, i'm already on deficit.. So no Choice, but to accept this lowly paid jobs..its onl 7 hrs per hr.. N its located at NUS at newton area.. worked from 10- 5pm on tue to thurs.. its a boring job also, but wat to do.. I think, i'm really not suitable for desk bound jobs.. its too boring..but wat to do.. Its only temporary n hope it can last me till my exams are over n i shall quickly find a new full time job. Hopefully its of my interest.. I just hope the Casino positions get back to me soon...

Studies

Exams are coming soon.. Starting May 15th n last paper is 26th May..I have started preparing, though in btw tat time, i got emotional due to the r/s problems at that time, i could concentrate again.. but now i'm trying hard to pick up, hopefully i dun fail again.. but i find it hard really to memorise huge chunks of words like when i was in JC times...

getting worried.. But i'm trying hard to study, though i'm still slacking in my days.. watching online movies in the day, online for long hrs, b4 gg out to Sun plaza play, eat n study.. Well after this exam, i'm gonna stop my studies for a while, n fidn a full time job to save up for the sch fee.. wat to do? I really got no $ to carry on my life, let alone carry on my studies..

i just hope this crisis will be over very soon....

bubbles of sadness.

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