____________['[*Moments Sharing*]']___________

*2:52 PM .

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

Memories for Weekends Fri – Mon (9th May 2008 - 12th May 2008) :

B4 I'm gg 2 start blogging, this is gg 2 b a huge post, consider the no. of days needed 2 blog & each day, the length of my post.. nevertheless, I shall try 2 reduce the length if possible, maybe more shortforms is gg 2 b used.

9th May 2008 – Fri :

The last day of the week. As usual i'm late for work, my flex seat which I have reserved was taken by some1 cuz I did not manage to confirm my seats b4 9.30am cuz I reached ofc after tat timing..Hmm wat is mean by handicapped.. until now I still didn't managed to get up.. Yea still stuck in my memories.. every morning, the sound of “Spring of Hope” ringtone, will woke me up from my slp, telling me, a brand new day, a brand new hope.. though times have been very tough cuz of the unhappiness, phyiscal thing is always there, which consist of 7yr thingy, which only I myself noes..Haha now is a rotten me instead..Asked ding jie, wil, Xy, Nel to gimme a morning call, none of them rmb to do so..though of cuz the momeries I have, is able to do so when on the way to work.. Hmm though its jus a shun4 bian4 thing, but still appreciates it very much..not cuz I lost them then I cherish, but I cherish each n every call, which was given..oso cuz, its oso a shun4 bian thing for ding they all, but yet they jus simply 4get..Now no more Spring of Hope le, cuz it jus doesn't exist practically for some “practical” reasons..

Hence no choice I have to search for my new table after lunch.. cuz b4 lunch, i'm able to seat at a place near my boss.. as the person will only come in ofc in the afternoon..Well I think there's a free lunch but I wasn't informed.. End up I went 4 lunch wif tat frd of mine.. This time we really went to Central Shopping mall to eat.. Again interesting n comical thing happen? Yes.. of cuz there is.. Hmm reached there, I wanna eat subway.. dunno y I love subway so much now.. Yup when u r long enough wif a person, there bound to have influence by the person u be with.. hmm but y can't the person be influenced by me as well?Haha simple cuz I wasn't even able to enter tat own world not passable for anybody. Hence my tots n believes were jus naïve n impractical..

Anyway, as usual, he dun wan.. but jus wan kopitiam.. Zz he very de... dunno wat to say.. nvm I follow him to eat there, as usual I let him order his food 1st, whille I go n find a seat. I search for a place near the clear window where I can see the scenery outside. He came back n its my turn to order.. to my astonishment upon returning,he push the chair facing the window and eating while viewing the scenary out.. we r 2 ppl, sitting on a 4 seater table.. n he sit like tat.. how am I suppose to sit? Zzz end up I ask him how, then he shift back to the usual place to sit..

after tat is ntg interesting but work. I landed up on the flex table very far away.. until finish work.. I mit nel in town..we planned to watch speed racer as he doesn;t want to watch Accuracy of Death.. My fav Takeshi acted in tat movie.. Hmm wonder who's able to watch the movie wif me then? Or am I gg to watch alone.. Takeshi's movie.. die oso mus watch.. We catch 9.45 pm at Grand Cathay as ben oso wanna watch wif us..

Thus we mit at ps 1st, b4 gg 4 dinner at subway at paradiz haha. Then went to play a rd of snooker there . Rmb winning nel n we went to the cinema to mit ben there.. The movie is nice n interesting.. quite exciting too. Funny at times.. quite a long duration though.. After movie, we bid farewell to ben, b4 carrying on wif our own snooker league wifout wil, as he went for work..we had 3 rds of snooker after movie n total game for the nite, 2-2.. nel's winning against me is so close.. cuz of a black ball alone..

After that, we took a nite rider home.. I was so tired.. n I took a nap in the bus.. Wat a life..reached hm ard 4am plus.. wat do I usually do in my previous weekends? Its so different now.. My weekend now is jus the same to me..

10th May 2008 – Sat :

Hmm wake up almost 2pm.. rotting at hm cuz dunno wat time nel will wake up.. yup wil said he got training from 3-6pm thus wil be able to mit us after tat.. Thus its only left me n nel to mit out 1st.. End up I mit nel ard 5am..planned to play kof at sp wif him till 5.30, reach town 6. at while then can mit wil.. end up wil fake us.. we can actaully mit out earlier as he bluff us go training end up nv go but stay at hm play dota..

made him treat us a drink cuz we wasted time waiting 4 him at sp till ard 6.30 then he reach sp to mit us.. Wa.. wat a weekend.. waste time at sp.. reach town the sky already dark le.. went to billy bombers to eat.. Taste gd.. Hmm didn't c the buffalo wings in the menu le.. wonder it chg or jus cuz its weekend n dinner time.. Everything I do now is jus reminised n carry over in my life..Really is left the mess all to me.. haha.. things do same, but the ppl ard me is so different..

After tat we got a ticket for “Wat happens in Vegas” at 1.45am show.. Then we went play billard.. Well the league is updated.. will publish it my later post.. Aiya.. guess who's the biggest loser tis time rd? Of cuz Is me ba.. I lost all rds to wil.. n oso cuz of the last black ball.. its really an unlucky nite.. think we managed to play a total of 4 rds? Anyway I jus briefly summarise the stats here.. well 1st game me n wil, he win me cuz of the black ball.. the game lasted very long, cuz our accuracy were so lousy tonite.. he win 7-0 score and I have to pay 8.30 for tat game..

2nd game, he play wif nel. Oso weird.. he win nel 10-0.. n nel actually have to pay $8 for tat game.. wow..play wif him cost so much.. cuz the game is draggy, unlike playing wif nel.. 3rd game for the nite, me wif wil again.. tis time my performance worst.. last min he win me 16-0... I paid 7.50.. last game.. we tot wil tonite play free game.. the match wif nel, wil lose finally.. nel win 32-0.. but he actually only pay 5 bucks.. tonite my luck wasn't there.. off form oso..

depressed, we went to catch the movie.. Hmm its a romance comedy? Hmm quite funny n interesting ba.. but the story can easily be anticipated..jus like korean drama, full hse.. they have got married cuz for some purpose.. then end up they fall in love wif each other truly.. the guy was atrocious, happy go lucky type, even lost his job... the ger was a career woman.. but cuz of the ger, the guy turn hardworking.. start to put in effort in his work.. but of cuz, the behaviour n habits of the western ppl r very open.. go clubbing etc.. this kind of cuz not educational la.. but the love story is nice..romantic..
n touching..

after tat, cuz we were so tired.. thinking of last nite's nite rider, we shared a cab hm..

11th May 2008 – Sun :

Mother's Day.. Well initially I tot of bringing my mum out to toa payoh to eat the dim sum which some1 brought me there..end up, mum brought lunch hm already.. I woke up quite late too.. end up I stayed at hm rot, online n slp at times...i was thinking of gg out b4 dinner to shop for things or hesitating wan to bring mum out 4 dinner? But I think its too late 4 reservation too.. bring her eat sakae or western at sp, but dun think its appropriate as she prefers chinese food.

End up I wash up, but was feeling sick, took a cough syrup some1 has given me, to cure my flu n cough.. I felt so drowsy n I dozed off while sitting down on bed after bathing.. until ard 7pm..then only I start to force myself up.. dinner was ready by then.. had my dinner at hm, then drag myself out to sp to purchase things.. went to watson to buy foot n show spray as well as hair spray.. then went down to the medical hall to buy a box of snow jelly (contribution – some1's indirect idea) and a cough herbal drink..

End up I went to lan shop alone by myself.. tried story mode, but still couldn;t clear.. so end up play here play there.. hop any rm.. til then, I went hm wifout any achievements...Sun nite passes by jus like tis.. terrible weekend.. Reached hm, mum haven't slp, so I passed her the gift... Happy Mother's Day..
Ps, tis is a day shld go to Mandai Crematorium to cele some1's mother's day..

12th May 2008 – Mon :

Hmm another day at work.. sian..Busiest day at work too.. end up I was late.. didn't managed to book a flexible working desk for myself.. cuz I was late...as usual..reached workplacec ard 10am + and got lots of works to clear.. didn't even online msn, n nel sms me told me he broke up wif his gf, cuz dun suit each other.. so bad.. but ppl's life, I dun bother.. he called me tot tat I was sacked cuz he didn't c me online..

Of cuz another happening in lunch.. Hmm but not really very bad la.. went to eat kfc wif my frd, tried out the fish zinger burger.. very filling.. my body thing start to grow in size again.. Hmm its really time to cut down by eating lesser le.. NO CARBOHYDRATES anymore.. cutting down on rice, noodles n potatoes.. nxt time buy food, no fries jus buy ala crate ..wait till wk ends then eat stg better ..but not too full..(typed tis cuz i'm feeling fat now) though not really fat la..

Then went to OG to shop 4 my brother's belated bd gifts.. I tot for a very long time le.. even been to OG window shop n see a few times.. This time decided so jus went in n buy it.. then went back to work.. oh ya, I got a free pearl n my frd company me up to claim the pearl.. Hmm reminds me tat time I copy some1, she oso got a pearl from the oyster shell thingy for purchasing something.. kip it n decided to gif it to my mum when I reach hm..

Went back to work n have to search 4 a desk.. pathetic tat I went to lunch wif all my belongings.. luckily I found 1.. actually is act tat I have booked tat seat, which I did, jus tat it was cancelled cuz I did cfm the seat as I was late in the morning.. after work, i'm all alone again.. nel mit ding at sp to go causeway nokia shop to take hp.. I left ofc at 7pm.. reached sp at almost 8pm..Went to cut my hair again.. tis time chg parting.. I even added new takeshi's pic on my hp, searched on sun, to show my hairdresser..same1 who cut 4 me tat time..

Ended up the hair style...tis time was sooooo short... my parting chg from left to rite.. takeshi's oso rite parting.. but.. he go n slope my sides.. its not like his hair style lo.. dunno la.. not really very satisfied wif the hairstyle but still barely acceptable la.. scare it looks ugly.. hmm ask him to take a pic 4 me, he only take the top.. nvm.. took a few shots.. but think hard to publish in my blog..4 pic wise, think only can c in my hp ba.. unless I got the time to really upload them in the photo bucket at hm.. cuz ofc com is not using windows system.. at hm, my com dunno wat's wrong..super laggy n can;t do much..so it dishearten me to do things at hm.. cuz imagine have to wait in front of the com doing ntg for almost an hr.. n sometimes it jus hang n I have to restart my com..

then after hair cut, mit nel n xy.. play a few rds of kof wif nel, n a few arcade frds.. then go to lan shop wif them, as they wan play maple.. hmm I follow n went there 4 dinner cuz not much time lle as its already almost 10pm.. buy mac n sit in to eat.. then start playing.. wa finally I got some achievements.. got to complete my story and got a blue colour of icon on my E1 haha..now my story mode is playing in a rm..quite exciting.. but dunno how come stucked le.. cuz I dun understand the requirement.. anyway.. tat's abt it ba..ntg to update le..

Accuracy of Death coming out on Wed I think.. I'm looking forward to watch it even if nel dun want company me..Made of Honour is oso another movie which i'll be looking fwd to watch..Ok a very long post n I shall stop here..

bubbles of sadness.

*3:36 PM .

Monday, May 12, 2008

Testing post

bubbles of sadness.

*4:49 PM .

Friday, May 09, 2008

Memories for 8th May 2008 Thurs :

Injured Finger.

Hmm my finger really swollen.. can see the differencce in the colours with the rest of my fingers.. Even my frd oso notice tat.. Painful.. Loner is like tat de ba.. I still got myself to care for myself.. “hey finger, sayang.. u ok or not? I'll care for you until it recovers soon..Dun worry.. though it looks bad now..” Hmm tat's the pros n cons of being a single or being in a r/s.. being single, got nobody to spare a tot or cared for.. but at the same time, there'll be nobody to love n care abt me either.. Being in r/s, have some1 who'll care n love for, but on the other hand, if the gf isn't loving, 1sided, self-centered, then it equals to as gd as being single.. haha..

Aching in the heart – Missing lots...

Those memories really can't be recovered le ba..4ever remain in my lost memories.. Its really very hard to let go of some1 whom u love so dearly n deeply... but wat's the point of holding on when the person doesn't truly loves u at all? Such a 1 -sided love, is really very tiring.. Letting go will be a better option.. haha but I think, I dun even have a choice.. cuz I dun even need to let go, its the other person who let go of me.. the 1 being deserted, is usually the most hurt party, worst still is when he's innocent and didn;t do anything wrong.. those memories be it sad or happy, were leave all by the the person staying behind to grief over the lost.. clear up the whole mess.. n tat's painful..Dun think better..though IMH, ILH, but Think of how happy tat person n tat guy tog now, reminds me of the pain she infllicted on me..

Work 1

Hmm 1st time booking a seat.. end up reach ofc late, the seat was occupied by others.. went to approach the person, end up he told me tat I nid to confirm my seats by 9.30am.. Else the booking will be cancelled.. So he jus took my seat away.. Went in search for the drop in seat..lucky got a vacant seat.. so I jus sit there..miss my usual place...

Lunch

Another painful lunch experience wif this frd of mine.. I really wonder how he organize n manage his life.. he needs to run errand at Bras Brasah area, the popular there.. I company him n this is wat I get.. originally we planned to go central shopping mall to have lunch.. he even suggest gg settle his work stuffs n take bus back to central mall then eat..i tell him, since we r taking bus, we might as well eat there..wonder how he thinks.. cuz if take bus to n fro.. its only abt him again.. I go there only waste transport.. might as well we walk to central shopping mall, eat le, he take bus there n come back himself..

Nvm, we go there, he was lost.. end up jus anyhow find a place to eat.. the food still ok ba.. eat a sausage, 2 siew mai, carrot cake and something like lo mai gai thing.. After tat the pain starts.. the weather was so hot n he jus wanna reach the destination, he showed me a short route of his where its anywhere oso can pass n cross.. tat's mad.. I rather walk a different path.. he bring me walk so many yuan1 wang4 lu4 lo.. makes me perspiring n I hate tis feeling..

Reached tat place, worst.. he say 2nd floor.. saw a stairs, a circular 1 n jus dash up.. I looked at his actions n ponder.. saw the way he walk, I'm not stupid to follow him.. I walk under the shelter n found an escalator up..saw him I say him do things nv think b4 he do.. any how lead ppl.. he's really another 1, living in the world of his own de.. I told him if he's gg out by himself its ok.. but now is i'm companying him.. dun do things like solo, leading ppl blindly.. sometimes I can't like walk different directions from him..else its like no difference of gg out alone..said him tat I walk escalator, oso can reach the place easier than him..

His pattern is like, dun care how he reach his target, anyway got path to go up, jus go.. nv use his head to think of a better solution to reach the same target.. Then I talk to hiim, really wonder he gets the rite meaning or not.. cuz we r at 1st floor of popular.. then the things he nid to find is at the top floor... inside got staircase n popular got air-con.. instead of gg up the popular stairs, he went out of popular, took the escalator to the 3rd floor, and climb the stairs up to the max floor as the escalator only until the 3rd floor stop..

Wa..i feel so silly wif him ard.. cuz i'm gg out wif him, I can;t possibly leave him alone.. I reluctantly follow him to take escalator but until I saw him climb stairs, I stop.. I walked inside the 2nd floor of popular n took the stairs up instead.. tat stairs outside is circular n longer n humid.. I saw him I shake head.. he said outside got escalator ma, I tot u wan escalator.. I down there zzz.. he catch the wrong meaning.. speechless.. bad experience..

Work 2

Hmm ntg happen ba..come back jus go back to my drop in desk to sit, of cuz feel tired n slply as usual.. then after some time, I went to find my boss.. surprise to see my usual desk empty, I went back to seat there, cuz the person left ofc le..

Sun Plaza

Well nelson dun feel like gg anywhere, so jus went to sun plaza to mit him.. no movie cuz nel say he tired.. sigh..nvm watching it on fri nite after work haha.. Maybe go play solo snooker wif nel again.. must win more n play more free snooker haha.. means will be travelling to doby ghaut again.. I met him at sun plaza arcade n play kof as usual.. initially I won a lot.. but after tat, I lost a lot.. hmm nv use my main team, kula, billy, athena de.. end up I lost 7 straight rd at the last pt n finaly win him.. but I noe his pattern..win a lot, dun 1 play after losing..

So went to eat sakae sushi for dinner.. Wa.. guess wat? The price increase.. no more 1.90 but 2.29, no more 4.90 but 5+..hmm. But I did enjoyed the dinner.. used to go often wif some1.. I ordered the same food as usual.. xy called n ask wanna go lan, so jus company her go lo.. since didn't go since last sun.. nel actually wanted go hm, but still company us there. B4 gg, me n nel go play 1bucks of kof each while waiting 4 xy to come, b4 gg to take bus..

At Lan

Went there, I decided to try my story mode again.. haha happy sia.. I managed to clear 1 of the db8 le.. 130 dance flower.. get 1st.. took me lots of hard work.. nel n xy play maple.. now still stuck wif db8 get at least 3rd place n x2 perf..the destiny 132 song.. tat 1 hard.. I gif up n go play other mode.. then frds start to online.. played wif fated cuz long itme nv play tog le.. as usual db4..after tat, time to go hm.. so tired.. left lan at ard 1am + like tat.. finally last day of work 4 the week..

bubbles of sadness.

*2:53 PM .

Thursday, May 08, 2008

Snooker League Statistics :

Hmm i'm a computer idiot afterall. Dunno how to edit it into my blog template, hence i shall have to post them into a new post and post it each time when there are updates..Below is the latest statistics..

Snooker League
Matches Played : 3		Match Category : 3 people match
	Match Points	3	2	1	0
Ranking	Statistics	Win	Draw	Second	Lose	Score	Points	Pay($)
First	William	1	1	0	1	49	5	3.30
Second	Yilun	1	1	0	1	31	5	3.80
Third	Nelson	0	0	2	1	38	2	11.00

Match Category : Individual
		Match Points	3	1	0
Ranking	Statistics	Match Played	Win	Draw	Lose	Score	Points	Pay($)
First	Yilun	2	2	0	0	81	6	0.00
Second	Nelson	2	1	0	1	11	3	4.00
Third	William	2	0	0	2	0	0	11.50

Match Fixtures :
Match Number	Challenger	Results	Remarks
1	Wil – Yil	0-27	Forfeit 7 score / 2 = +4
2	Nel – Yil	0-54	Forfeit 27 score / 2 = +14
3	Nel – Wil	11-0	Full match

bubbles of sadness.

*5:34 PM .

Memories for 7th May 2008 Wed :

Another day has passed by.Ntg special to say abt my work.. Went for lunch wif my Jc frd again.. Well we went to the basement foodcourt again. I have vegetarian food, but this time rd, the food doesn;t really taste nice. Well I really finds tat he does things wifout thinking.. this time, he's slightly better.. at the very least, we manage to find the seat tog, but actually is cuz not many ppl tis time. I offered to let him buy his food 1^st.. end up he queue tat time I bought the korean stall..weird thing was, he bought some glutinous rice from the vege stall and I went to order my food.

When I came back, everything's still alright.. n now comes the part.. He told me he's still waiting 4 his korean food.. Hmm he can eat a lot meh? A plate of rice, then here comes his korean noodles..which is so big a bowl.. End up, he start doing something weird.. I ask him whether he can finish his food or not, he said ok.. then he start to put the plate of rice into a bowl, used to contain syrup for the rice.. Then he clear the tray as he got 2 trays wif him now.. then he start to clear the rice 1^st... then.. he start eating the korean noodles.. but he start telling me he's full.. he's much taller than me, but his size is skinner.. well, he complains tat the noodle is very spicy.. then he start to do stg weird.. by the time, I already finish my food..

Then.. he put some noodles into the bowl, previously used to contain the rice n the sauce.. omg.. then he asked me whether I wanna try or not.. i'm already full n he makes me feel even more full.. kindly I rejected his offer. Then he start to finish the remaining noodle left in the big bowl.. after tat.. he put the noodles from the sauce bowl back into the korean bowl..OMG.. for your info, the korean bowl is soup base.. tat's so disgusting.. even the ppl ard us, saw such scene, showed a weird face.. I can't help but turn my sight away n see other places instead...finally the ordeal is over..

N becuz of this, initially he said on gg 4 dessert after tat, n I didn't buy any drinks, end up nv go to have dessert n he went back ofc instead.. sian, I ask him go back 1^st, while I go walk ard.. can;t find any starbucks shop, I found a coffee bean n went to purchase my fav black forest ice blended instead..then start to wait till my exciting part for the wed nite.. Well b4 I came to tat part, something sad took place in the ofc.. well, my usual seat, quite a nice spot, is gg to be taken over by the perm staff soon.. meaning to say, i'll have to start booking for flex seats soon..

I went to scout the whole of the level 7 floor, all the favourite spots were taken.. My boss showed me another kind of desk, but these r few limited drop in desk, which is on a 1^st come 1^st serve basis.. if i'm late, the table will be taken.. hmm but those tables r not bad.. yet I dun have the confident to book them, cuz i'm always late 4 work.. have to try harder.. end up I booked a place very far from my fav spot.. but tat's the best I can find..

Finally the time comes, its a nite of billard wif my usual kakis.. Nel & Wil, as per said on my previous blogs, we r beginning the snooker league..something to add on to our activities which is becoming dull to make it more interesting.. Went to doby ghaut to wait 4 them, but to my surprise, they are on time. We mit ard 6.30pm. Then we start to head for dinner..i'm actually feeling quite full.. but they agree upon gg subway 4 dinner.subway has become my fav place 4 dining le.. oh ya speaking abt this, I mus register for the member online later to get discounts lol.. more like those aunties sia.. discounts coupons n vouchers..

Tis time rd I dun think I got the appetite to eat a footlong like nel.. walking to paradiz centre subway, my head was already thinking wat to eat.. walk pass Grand Cathay, my thirst for starbucks ice blended green tea come at last!! thus I went into buy a small cup.. hehe delicious.. hence reach dining place, as usual, there's not extra egg mayo there, so I jus bought a 6-inch n nv buy anything to top up into a meal as I already got my fav drink..

nel bought a footlong haha..i have a bad experience already. Not to eat too full b4 snooker match, else its a lose in watever things I do.. not sure y.. but think when i'm too full, I can't conc on the things i'm doing.. energy all goes to the stomach to digest haha.. Well though i'm well prepared 4 the match, something bad happen in the 1^st game itself..think its the 1^st or 2^nd strike of the game only.. our 1^st game, is a 3 ppl game.. think is I start 1^st, then nel, followed by wil n my turn.. then tat wil make the white ball stuck wif the group of the red ball tog..

this makes me sian..the last time we played, I oso injured my finger tis way, cuz I was reckless when trying to spread the group of red ball.. I knocked my rite 2^nd finger against the snooker table..tat's hard.. but lucky tat time not so painful.. but tis time, I was really injured.. the impact was hard n I got a bruise on my finger..its even aching when i'm typing now.. but better then when I jus hit the finger against the table.. now touch the part, will ache. But now at least I can still move my finger, except its swollen a bit blue black now.. so ugly..zz

Tat impact cuz me to lose the 1^st game.. nel got 2^nd n to our surprise, wil got 1^st.. End up 1^st game cuz 5.40. I paid 3.80, nel only paid 1.80.. Hmm wil's accuracy was surprisingly gd on the 1^st rd, but tat's jus the beginning only.. tat game, I was thrashed.. nel score 28 points, wil score 29 n I got a 0.. cuz we played on a deduction point basis..i tot of resting 4 the 2^nd match, end up I decided to chg my style of playing.. my accuracy was affected by the pain, thus I play defensive n using lesser strength to play..2^nd rd was bit better.. this time my turn to win, nel 2^nd as usual, followed by wil last tis time.. not sure wat's the score.. think is wil 0, nel 10, I scored 11.. another close match btw the 1^st n 2^nd position.. total is 5 bucks I think, n wil paid 3.30 n nel paid 1.70..

The 3^rd game of 3 ppl was played.. n this rd is the last of 3 ppl game.. cuz nel was fed up.. 3 ppl n solo play have different strategy.. but cuz the 3 ppl playing, 1^st striker usually affect the 3 striker who's waiting.. this time rd.. me n wil score ties..meaning to say we got 2 ppl get 1^st n means nel have to pay 4 the full rd.. the match was long n he paid 7.50.. then he says he dun care, he wan to play solo as he feels tat will dunno how to guard me.

Hence we decide who play 1^st, end up is wil n me 1^st game.. tis match starting was close.. we kip rotating to score points, until wil starts to break off the cycle n take a small lead in the beginning.. The match was tricky n tough. Cuz the position of the colour balls were so dangerous in causin a foul..end up in the later part, I managed to place the white ball well, after striking.. this makes will gif up n I score 18-0 in the 1^st game.. wif will giving up when the black ball is still left on the table.. think he paid only 4.80?

The 2^nd game, was wif me n nel. Nel gets to start the ball 1^st.. lol this rd was a thrashing game.. My placing was gd in tis rd tat every single shot, nel doesn;t get any gd ball to hit.. end up I scored a total of 36-0 wif the table still left wif all the colour balls n he was foul by me so many times.. lucky 4 him to gif up early, he pays only 4 bucks..

The 3^rd game, oso the last game.. is the match btw wil n nel.. nel starts the game 1^st.. this match was very close.. the points were so close, wif wil starting the lead as nel was still suffering low morale from the previous defeat.. but nel slowly picks up n take a small lead again.. then wil wins again n the cycle carrys on.. until the last part, where the black ball determines who wins the game.. nel is leading wif 4 points, the black ball is 7 points..

end up, after a long struggle nel manages to break the cycle n win the last game.. the match cuz 6.70..In total, I only paid 3.80 for the entire nite, wil pay 14.80 n nel pays 15 bucks.. an interesting nite out though I get an injured finger in return.. Hmm i'll set up a statistic league table after figuring where to place them in the blog after this..sigh..tml work again...

Posted on 8th May 2008 Thurs 3.20pm

bubbles of sadness.

*3:17 PM .

Wednesday, May 07, 2008

7th May 2008 Wed 11.02am

Hmm basically jus another normal day.Well I have lunch alone ytd. Well to the basement to have some vegetarian food b4 gg to take a stroll.. I went to OG to shop 4 the clothes which I wanted.. end up after trying out tat shirt which I wanted very much for the correct size,ended up she told me, dun have the size, except the last piece of the display set.. The shirt is too expensive, thus I dun wish to spend 89.90 on a display set.. Disappointed, no fate wif the shirt. Managed to take a pic wif the shirt, but think not very clear as its tough taking a pic at tat angle..

Well painful afternoon b4 I knock off.. went to sun plaza.. the ppl I contacted for kof session, didn't turn up.. kit n jim.. but nel, awie did show up. But there many ppl playing there as well.. got panda, a guy I 4get his name, stanley, danny n his frd.. hmm of cuz panda is oto strong 4 me.. I went to the other machine to play wif the rest using random, since panda doesn't even play random.. hmm well I have a great nite there wif a win by 16.. Hmm of cuz its impossible to achieve this if my opponent is panda, as i'll always be the 1 losing most of the time. Tat's y I seldom play wif him..dun wish to waste lose of $.

after tat, went to have dinner at kfc wif nel.. as usual the food is delicious.. After tat, I complany nel to see a doc.. was thinking of gg to lanshop to find xy, but zz nel drag me to the doc n the queue was super long.. from 10.45 company him waited til 11.15 like tat.. he went in only not more than 5 mins, come out le.. the time is so late, so I dun feel like gg le.. Hmm but so gd.. he didn't go work ytd and get an mc for today.. We headed to sp mac to have a drink n chat, while waiting for Wil to come back sem from work..

Since today wil no sch and nel no work, they have decided to play billard today at doby ghaut after my work.. yup our usual grd, paradiz centre.. We even decided to start a league since loser shall pay 4 the game.. hmm think is last sat, we had a billard marathon and was so dissatisfied wif the results.. wil was so shocking.. usually he lose always n end up out of 9 rds of billard (of cuz there is a break in btw for dinner), nel lost the most, me 2^nd n wil lose the least.. guess the cost? Nel 20+ abit, I 19+, wil only 16+..
Hmm hope to look forward to free billard tonite.. Times chg.. can't win them confidently as they have improve a lot in their skills.. esp nel..

What a life.. wonder when i'll able to lead a meaningful life, not a fake 1, but a real meaningful life indeed.. thinking, pondering, wondering.. think, think, think...future is so uncertain.. under such a circumstances, I really wonder how am I ale to face the uncertainties of the future, when there's no strength at all..sank into the pessimistic dark side, instead of the optimistic bright side..hope 1 day some1 will chg my mindset and lighten my life..

bubbles of sadness.

*11:02 AM .

Tuesday, May 06, 2008

6th May 2008 11.33am

Hmm looking thru my entire blog, seems llike my life hasn't been smooth at all..So many downs and ppl coming to dampen my life.. So ruined a felt and yes, those who came in and ruined the entired me will defend and say me accusing them, but the actual meaning was, yes I deserve it myself. I choose to land myself in such a plight.. ntg to do with them..haha ya I got an option to choose, but its jus tat I'm a fool enough to choose to play the game of theirs..Really wonder when I can start blogging down the joyous things, though life is not perfect, but at the very least, let me blog down more joyous things, rather than always the sad 1..

Well what an atrocious day to start on a Monday.. Why? Hmm I overslept as usual.. no mood to go to work, but this time was different.. It was 10 am and I was still in mrt towards Doby Ghaut station even before entering the tunnel and my boss called me.. he already reached ofc.. and end up I was reprimanded and given a last warning.. Mon was supposed to be the most bz period of the week and i'm very late.. Well wat a freaking life.. Reached ofc and rushed on wif my work..

The worst has not stopped.. even during lunch, It wasn't peaceful.. apparently, I was upset wif my Jc frd, who's working at MoM near my work place (Sun Micro), on fri during lunch time.. This time, I took the point to call him oout 4 lunch.. I told him 12.15, at the Mom atm machine where I have to walked there.. end up he's so near, still late.. I waited there and he's late, not even a sms or call from him.. I sms him n he didn;t even reply.. I stood down there watching the road.. the traffic light dunno flash green and red how many times.. I even tot of gg off wifout him..

Pissed when he come, I jus kip quiet n shake my head.. went to basement to eat.. shocked... he jus went striaght to queue for his food, leaving me alone in the crowded foodcourt..tis is not the first time such incident happens le..he seems like ok wif carrying a plate ard looking for seats.. and he's the kind anywhere oso can seat, but I'm the sort who prefers privacy and not sharing the tables wif anybody... can;t even eat in peace when u r feeling so awkward.. nvm.. silently I went to locate a seat..there he was, carrying the plate ard when I didn;t even manage to find a seat..

Scared tat he anyhow seat, I waited patiently 4 a place.. finally I got it, and tell him to seat while I go buy my food.. Hmm pondering sometime, I decided to try the korean kimchi fried rice.. while queuing I was looking at my frd.. Wa.. my patience really reached limit.. I saw him happily eating the food down there, leaving the empty plates on the table, making a space for himself.. even ordered a drink for himself and not telling the person to clear the plates away.. Such typical self-centered person is something I can't tolerate..living in a whole of his own, not thinking the fact tat I found the seat for him, n he doesn;t even noes i'm watching his movement all along.. eating, eating, eating.. I ordered the food and patiently approached him.. tell him to ask ppl to clear the plates away..

Tat's bad enough.. ppl living in the own world, need ppl to tell n instructed them wat to do, else they dun even bother to do anything, but jus concentrate on their own stuffs.. Can;t imagine them living tog wif anybody.. when I returned to the seat, wa.. his food already finished.. I jus eat silently.. not the usual me, who'll talk to him.. I was very quiet.. n the food adds on to my misery.. it taste horrible and the best food on the plate is the egg... but only the pathetic egg.. I didn;t finish the rice, and since he's happily drinking his hot tea, I sipped on my tasteless soup wif awful seaweed tat doesn't taste like 1..

Didn't enjoy my lunch, I suggest to him tat I want to have dessert.. he told me tat he had the hot tea le, so jus company me to eat upstairs..went to the dessert shop.. There's 2 different stall, 1 a lot of ppl frequent, the other 1 very few ppl.. end up I want to eat the usual things, he say lets go to the other stall (less frequent) and lets try the dessert.. Thinking he wanna eat as well I follow.. End up reached there.. he told me he not eating.. Wa.. I eat dessert, he wants to decide where n wat I eat.. Always like tat.. leading me the wrong way etc, etc, etc.. the nicer stall sells cheaper and dellicious dessert rather than tis..

I bought the same dessert at 3.50, spent 1 dollar more than the nicer shop..the bowl is bigger, but the taste is horrible...i ate wif a black face.. and worst, he wants to sit beside me instead of infront, cuz got the back rest.. every1 sit facing each other except us, sitting side by side wif no ppl infront.. omg.. some more he's not even my gf leh.. gf sit side by side still ok lo.. worst thing come.. he didn;t order any dessert.. watch me eat.. nvm.. the aunt from the stall ask him not ordering, he says no.. then the aunty offered him a cup of water, he accept..zzz so thick skin.. if its me, I wouldn;t even take the cup.. then he still can tell me, a gd strategy to win customers..

finally finished.. I move off and was thinking of taking a walk.. as usual he's like rushing off.. but I think he can see tat i'm unhappy.. end up, I pour everything out.. such things doesn;t happen once.. I told him its like no different from me gg eat alone.. but didn;t scold him la.. I say tat every 1 got different habits n lifestyle.. just tat I told him its not him eating alone, but its abt another ppl's involvement, doesn;t applies only me..end up we went to the lobby at furama hotel and seat a while there b4 gg back to ofc..

A long afternoon and I was so tire n got a big headache when u can't slp.. last min got work to do, but end I managed to clear them.. cuz I was late, I waited till boss leave b4 I leave.. ard 6.30pm by then.. I was even discussing wif nel where to catch a movie.. didn't feel like gg amk hub to watch movie anymore.. cuz this place is so unpleasant.. cuz I rmb some1 said tat his workplace is near amk ma, so which means after work the most frequent place to mit will be amk.. don;t wish to see such things.. so I suggest to nel to watch at cine or grand cathay, but cuz its so far, nel dun1..

End up he suggest causeway point.. so far for me.. since he's taking hp, so I agreed since I dun wan go amk hub..end he he suddenly tell me, he didn;t bring receipt.. so no nid go causeway.. zzz end up we headed to amk hub instead..we mit ard 7.10pm and headed straight to buy the tickets to watch doomsday.. usually she'll buy the 7pm show, thus I n nel watch 9.45 de.. perfered to have a nice meal, not a rush 1 n still have time 4 other things, then go n watch the movie.. so such timing is different from her..

We went to nebo to eat dinner, oso a place where she won't think of eating too.. Hmm nel keeps asking me why I like tat.. but come to think of it, y mus I be the 1 avoiding such person? I did ntg wrong ma.. Thus after eating dinner, cooled down n rmb my 2 working shirt spoilt le, the green n the black 1.. thus I need to buy clothes, thus went to shop ard.. hmm shopping is dangerous cuz chances of spotting her is high.. Went pass Spade and saw 2 striped shirts.. went in to try the shirt, and finds it nice, so I bought 2 colours..got red oso haha, but not entirely red, and the colours r not bright.

After tat we went to play billard oppo amk hub since we have the time.. played 1 rd of billard and he lost haha, so he has to pay 5.50 for the game.. then we got not much time for 1 more rd, we switch to pool, end up I lost 3 rds.. paid a total of 3.50, nel lost 1 dollar, a total of 6.50.. After tat I went to watch the movie.. Hmm the movie is not bad la, but weird.. the movie is abt virus infection, and the infected ppl r quarantined and left to die.. Hmm after some time, the virus starts again, n the female lead actor was sent to lead a team to go back into the quarantined zone 20yrs later in search of the doctor and see if he is still alive and managed to find a cure..

They went inside and those who survives, if i'm not wrong are naturally immune to the virus.. but all of them turned to hooligans or barbarians like tat.. then after escaping, comes knights wif horses lol..even got arrows.. like a mixture of generations.. overall not bad la, but dun wish to blog the movie in detail.. after tat, went back sp n go mac hav a drink.. end up saw newspaperboy playing psp alone there and sit down company him.. we chat n he went to eat b4 we went hm..

bubbles of sadness.

*11:31 AM .

Monday, May 05, 2008

5th May 2008 Mon 3.50pm

Hi My blog,

Seems like I have deserted you for a very long time.. About 1 yr ago? Felt very bad about tat.. Well its not that I wanna neglect about you.. Jus that this 1 yr, many things have happened to me.. I wanna pen all my feelings down, but apparently, I find it hard to do so.. Feel like I have the heart to do it, but jus dun have any strengths to blog them down.. Partly oso becuz the person involved in my life, sad memories, (happy memories turn out to be sad as well) finds it hard for me to place them down.. Cuz there's ntg joyous for me to blog anyway... But since now i'm back to my loner life, here I come blogging again..

However, I'm not gg to pen down in details wat I actually been thru, anyway such memories are ntg proud to show off..How nasty a person can turn out to be, is jus like a nitemare for me..Each time you wake up, thinking of such a thing, is as though u have been thru stg terrifying in my life... I'm indeed a fool , to have been fooled out 3 times by the same person.. Well can't imagine rite? Once bitten twice shy, n yet, I can't actually repeat the same mistake and let myself got hurt.. Those pair of eyes and words,which I last saw in tat person's eyes, tells me tat I deserved it, for being a fool..

I shouldn't have trust any1 but myself..seems like 2yrs plus of r/s with my ex, didn;t managed to make me learnt a lesson tat 1 shld only trust myself.. believe in my own eyes, in my own heart.. use my eys to c, my heart to feel... This person turns out to be the worst I have ever met, yet managed to soften my heart to such an extent tat no 1 else have ever hit.. looks r real deceiving instead.. Whoever is wearing a mask, who's not, its really hard to tell.. human beings are indeed very vast species that I have encountered thruout my 20+ of my life and yet u can't classify each individual into several categories..every1 is unique n different..some r nice, some r nasty...

This 1 yr + of my life seems like a mess to me.. so unclear, complicated, confused... my balance was totally tilted to both ends.. how stressful and unhappy I really were..I actually fall inside and get involved in 2 person's tragedy.. Y must the person be me? I feel so malign.. I didn;t do anything wrong and I just got such a kind of ending.. Do I really deserve such a kind of injustice for things which I didn;t do anything wrong? My meet up to this person, to me was jus a fate..

I did not intentionally entered any arena n intentionally causing disturbance and spoiling other ppl's life.. end up everything was jus being turned the table round and i'm the 1 being shoot.. This guy just simply accsue me of causing disturbance over his own unsecured affairs of his, which already happened twice b4 me.. Its not as if i'm the 1 who purposely comes in to cuz havoc..I have even read the letter he wrote to this person,how bad n evil I'm... this letter wounded me a lot.. and I even kept it till now.. all those memories I have.. r all fresh and secured.. This person destroyed everything, all the memories and evidences of my presence, yet to me its all fresh in my mind.. Emails, sms, pics, etc etc etc.. r what is haunting me a lot now..

I know i'm not as gd as writing beautiful stories and letters like that guy.. I really can't write anythign now, but jus blogging my messy feelings out.. dun even know what i'm writing abt either.. This person (SLSL) – sl2, really got such a capability that everything she does, she manages to turn the table ard and I don't have anything to voice out.. Seems like giving hot cold treatment, and confusion really helps a lot.. being nice to the person at times, gives ppl the opportunity to treat the person badly so tat when the person starts to voice out, she can jus simply say dun accuse me of this n tat.. and end up i'm the 1 who seems to be at the fault..

Whats the definition of swit-talkings? Isn't it jus saying swit words to a person's ears but dun have to follow on wif their actions? They r jus like words said as though its empty promises..any1 can say many nice words, but those words that dun mean it, are simply swit talkings.. “I love you like I nid oxygen.” Such a word, oxygen implying you can;t live..its so strong and nice to hear tat but when It comes to action, am I really like the oxygen? It seems like a joke now.. “guys n gers r different. Guys can ML wifout love, but gers can't. Gers nid to love tat person then they can ML” Is tat true? According to what I have been thru, apparently this doesn't turns out to be true either..There are still a lot more of such a kind of swit talkings which I have heard but I dun wish to blog out..

Wat's more, if i'm really so capable, sl2 shouldn't be looking out on me in the beginning.. I'm already a poor student when we 1st met.. not as though it sthe 1st day we met each other.. There's only 1 reason to love a person, but when u wanna ditch a person, all these factors and excuses start coming out from the mouth.. as though its the 1st day we met and start to say u r not gd in this not gd in tat.. and when I said tat rite from the start she didn't say, only now then say, the excuse given was, at that time she didn't think so much..

hmm what's the characteristics of a fling then? r/s wif no commitment, swit talkings said out which doesn;t mean anything.. 2 ppl tog jus enjoy each other's company so tat when its time to part, its time to go.. Hmm doesn;t all these sounds like a fling? End up all she said was, turning the table ard tat I accused her as she didn;t treat me as a fling.. What abt the humiliations and pains I have undergone thru?? Those H, K, FH, I etc? All these doesn't even looks more like a fling? All these doesn't even mean a thing?

And upon all these, all simply becuz i'm too young, no faith in me as I might fall for another a person (look upon ur ownself b4 u start accusing me of the things which I did not do), i'm not stable, i'm too demanding, i'm too etc, etc, etc.. expecting lots of things from her.. All I can say is, b4 I expect anything or say stg, look upon ur ownself 1st b4 u speak.. after been thru all these, my heart has been so insecure and unstable.. of cuz when such an unsettled mind I have, there are bound to have certain aspects which i'll look on in the future, depending on the root cuz.. but end up, instead of being understanding, she still can make lots of expectations asking me whether i'm able to fulfill them or not.. What sort of love is tis?

If I have to wait until I really become stable, do you think tat such a ger loves me truly or jus after my stabililty? Such a thing have to ponder.. end up I was being accuse of self-centered, as who's the real self-centered person? I dun have to waste time arguing wif such a person as deep inside my heart who's rite, who's wrong its all clear..

1st fool I am, is the time where I naively thinks tat he is coming back from italy earlier than expected..I was even curious y i'm the only 1 cherishing the remaining days left, as when tat day arrived, i'm sending her back and let her decide for herself.. being fair to every1.. To think unitl the very last day, then only I discover the plans made so long ago, of her gg italy, instead of him coming back to sg.. And to think how we spent the very last day? Those FH really doesn't mean anything at all? Its the worst movie I've ever watch wif her.. I still rmb 10, 000BC.. the 1st movie we ever sit so far apart from the cpl seat..

The trip took her 3weeks.. Hmm.. a week later suring the trip, an sms comes.. This period was the worst in my life.. I won;t 4get it starts 5th of march 2008.. I hesitate in replying.. I was so hurt n angry..wanting to reply n scold her.. but told myself not to.. end up after a day, I replied.. until the last day of the trip on a sun, 3 weeks from 5th mar, she sms me again on her flight back to sg.. I hesitated and ended up mit her..2nd fool I am.. come back n told me how much she misses me etc.. does she really miss me so much like I miss her?

I dun think so.. Where is she when I nid her badly?she left me alone.. happily enjoying the life, but will only think of me at times, i'm a fool to believe her words.. what sort of things they does over there, they noe it best.. end up soften by her, I was fooled by a week, as she came back a week earlier than him.. the 1st day was so swit, but I discovered something, i'm not a fool as i'm always able to discover things which I shouldn't noe.. Even such a thing, I have gave her many chances.. 4give her.. end up, the chgs is so quickly..

everything is broken up on tat sun, he arrived to sg from italy.. lasted almost 2-3 weeks, sl2 still send me email, and even went to lan shop to find me.. a 3rd fool I am, to naively believe in her words again.. “I wanna mend you broken heart wif my love, will you be able to gimme a chance?” ended up such a thing, last 4 a week again.. the worst thing is, mon is swit, the nxt day changed immediately.. All those spiritually, mentally and physically, everything doesn;t mean a thing? Once again like the 1st 2 times, after everything has happened, the nxt day is tragedy.. What sort of person is this? This chance i'm giving, end up becomes as though i'm the 1 asking for a chance from her.. i'm under her mercy and everything? Everything can jus easily turn the table ard to shoot me back.. ya at the end of the day, I simply jus deserve it..A fling, a sub deserve such a kind of ending after every thing has taken place and its of not value anymore.

Finds it hard to place all those words into swit talkings like tat guy did.. cuz he hasn;t felt such a kind of treatment b4.. I finds it hard to even pen them down beautifully after such many horrible things happened and it seems so fake if I can still pen them down so beautifully..I dun find it proud to voice out the humiliations I have been thru, creeping like a mouse, facing her frds and family members who knows everything and she even does so many things in front of me.. The most painful things is not the sad memories, but its the happy memories which took place at that point of time, but yet its the most sad memories now.. cuz all these were jus a piece of lies, covered wif fakeness..

bubbles of sadness.

*3:47 PM .

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