____________['[*Moments Sharing*]']___________

*1:02 PM .

Friday, February 20, 2009

Day dreaming - A Romantic Night With a Love 1.

last night, i was listening to my favourite song, Can i Have this dance, which i finally got it into MP3, with the help of Ben.. Hmm few quite upset about not having a portable laptop.. Cuz i always have to wait until i get the chance to use the com, then only i have the chance to blog them down.. The moment i think of stg, i can just open my laptop to blog it.. In this way, i dun have to worry whether i miss out anything which i wanna blog..

Last nite i couldn;t slp..I keep listening on n on to the music, keep recalling the scene in the video.. The waltz dance movement.. Then my mind, goes into a day dream mode, as usual.. I begin picturing my romantic night wif a love 1. the picture is empty, cuz currently i dun hav a love 1 in pic now.. so all i can pic is a shadow form..

I was thinkin of haivng a day's off, while my love 1 went to work. Of cuz i pretend to go off to work wif her in the day, (scenes were pictured when i have a family, n hav a own hse..)After parting the ways, i crept back home to spend the day decorating the hse.. A special lighting to be decorated when we shifted in, for such ocassion use..

Bouquet of flowers, roses, over the place, pink atmosphere, with ballons in the cellings n grounds.. A lovely dining table in the middle, with beautiful candlelight. Lay the dishes on the table..of cuz such occasion, western foo dis the best.. However, i dunno how to cook.. So i was thinking, to cook myself, but how? To go pack the food from a western restaurant?

Will the food be cold?If i were to cook myself, then i dun have enough time to prepare the rest of the things.. Of cuz can't lack of a bottle of red wine!. Then dressed up nicely on a western suit, n waited patiently for the love 1 to return home.. Lights to be dimmed completely of cuz..Curtains all covered.. Hiding in the room, wif music turned on.. If only technology is more improved that many things like fireworks can be turned on on special timings..Music can be turned on at the rite time as well..

Of cuz perhaps technology is able to do so now, just that i'm not rich n capable enough to afford them. So lets go back to be practical n do away wif the rest of the stuffs mend for the rich, which i'll add on, if i'm rich..She's bound to be surprised... And finally, i invited her for a dance wif me,especially this song, Can I Have This Dance. Suits the picture..

Some more dun have to be embarrass as there's nobody to mock at us for not dancing well.. I already managed to pic some of the steps in the video.. Seems hard to learn though..

Negative tots starts coming in.. wat if the ger can;t dance well, wat if soemthing bad happened, n she's not able to come home tat nite? What if the person who comes hm, is not her, but some evil spirits.. What if she's not romantic, unappreciative?So many wat if comes in.. So i better stop day dreaming.. Time for bed.. from 12 am, i ended up slping at 2am.. Anyway, i will add the lyrics for THis song when i have the time..Time for me to hav my lunch outside. Mum not at hm, so its lucnh out..Luckily wil agreed to company me for lunch.

bubbles of sadness.

*1:24 PM .

Blissful Couple

Thursday afternoon 19th Feb, i headed for a job Interview, recommended by wi's frd. So the 3 of us headed down to orchard Tower B for an interview.. Reached there only to find out it was from the previous job agency i been for my previous job.. Well, after that, we headed back to Sem for a very late lunch, oso consider my dinner.. We had our meals at the newly opened restaurant, Xin wang..

Well i recalled wil's frd, Bingren, had a gf at the age of 29.. Bingren is 19, same age as wil.. The gf is 10 yr older than him.. Currently, the ger is staying at his hse, but at times, they both went to stay in the gf's hse.. Taking turns.. So consider cohabiting? Of cuz, the ger was working, while bingren is having sch holis at rp..They are even planning to get married, or rather ROM on 2011..

As for the story of theirs, dun wish to write them here.. let it be a secret for them, for me n wil.. I wish them all the best..

bubbles of sadness.

*1:15 PM .

A voice, which i have not hear long ago.

Not long ago, i received a phone call on my handphone.. This phone number.. A number which i have long received on my handphone.. Its an office number.. Though not as familiar as 3523, as this person has just switched department towards the very end of our r/s. its a new number, hence i couldn;t really recognise.. Besides, i'm busy searching for job.. Upon receiving an office number, i picked up hastily, thinking that it was from a company which i applied..

Ended up, i heard this voice, though starting wasn't very clear, i heard the voice calling, "dear ah.." I was puzzled n feeling weird.. i dun have a gf now, yet got ppl call me dear. Upon listening further, the voice gets more n more familiar.. Of cuz, its a voice which i haven't hear for quite a long time.. of cuz even though she says wrong number, i noe its her..

being tog for almost 2 years, i would forget a person's voice? How can a person forget's her new bf's number, when she has been calling that new number for quite a period of time, since the days when our r/s were coming to an end.. Hmm is she doing that on purpose or not.. Trying to show me how sweet she calls her new bf? "dear ah..." Painful memories i have.. doesn;t harms me wif this additional 1..

It makes no difference.. I can't forget..a single bit.. It still hurts.. Its not like my previous r/s is over for a long period of time.. Yet she has a new bf which makes me feels like our r/s has long gone.. Thinking back, last yr 26th Dec 2008. Its only almost 2 mth since the r/s.. i thought 1 yr has passed.. Nah its just a short period of almost 2 months..

Ppl do change.. Not very much for the routine me.. but i notice the ppl ard me.. from a person who was so close to me, becomes so far away from me, n headed to be very close wif a new pair of arms.. This voice i heard, reminds me of tat fateful day when i saw the new couple standing at the AXS station, at 1st floor of AMK HUB.. The scene just seems so disgusted..I turned away quietly..

Anyway a nobody like me now, doesn't deserve anything from anybody.. Yes, a friend of mine, told me 1 fine nite during our talk, in this corrupted world, nobody will pity you, i shld cared only abt myself.. i shld love myself.. No matter how gd u cared abt the person, the person will just leave you 1 day.. the only person who will not leave u, is u yourself.. Even when she left me, i'm still there, alone..

I dunno how long i'm gonna be painful.. but just hope such pain will be over in time to come..

bubbles of sadness.

*12:51 PM .

Thursday, February 19, 2009

Movie - The Curious Case of Benjamin Button

A very interesting piece of art i would call it. Yesterday i went to AMK hub to watch this 166 mins length of movie with Wil. Well, have you ever thought if life were to start from the other way round? Which way do you prefer? From young to old, or from old to young.. This movie, has a lot of categories..Though its lengthy, it has some comedy scenes at times, to make the movie ongoing, hence i'm not bored thruout the movie..

Besides, Its so interesting that it makes me wanting to noe the ending. What actually happened to benjamin button? His birth was so old n fragile, n as he grows older, he becomes more younger.. Another question, if your children is born in this manner, would this poor child be abandoned cuz of its hideous looks? There's also several touching scenes that almost made me shed a few tears..

the feeling was also quite weird.. Imagine as the wife grows older, the husband becomes more like a child.. until it becomes a baby.. i was so shocked towards the ending that benjamin becomes so young like a teenager..n ends his life as a baby in his wife's arm.. at birth, the couple look like grandpa n grand daughter. as they grow older, they looks almost the same..even older, the woman looks like an aunty, while the man looks like a young man..

then even further, looks like a mother n a children..The ending was a sad 1.. However, i'm not very happy about the sexual life in the movie.. Both of them slps wif diff ppl in the movie..the sexual life is very open.. Which i hated such kind of education... The world has become so open, that having sex wif different ppl has become a norm..

bubbles of sadness.

*11:11 AM .

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

High School Musical 3 - Can I have This Dance

Here's a favourite song of mine in High School Musical.
I have been trying very hard to find this song, unfortunately, i can only find this in Youtube..
I love Waltz Dance..

bubbles of sadness.

*1:32 PM .

Saturday, February 14, 2009

Cursed?

Damn it.. I dreamt of her again.. Why? Why? Why? Love really sucks.. Stop it please!!! Its V day , but so? She's happily tog wif the guy..Who cares abt you? Stop it.. Can i dream of some1 else instead? Perhaps a beautiful lady? But not some1 who will torture me emotionally..Such days are tough.. I planned my day ahead, so that i can avoid questions.. Will be hiding at frd's hse to play mahjong thruout V day. 1st thing, can hide from my family's question abt her.. 2nd is, dun have to go out on street n make my eyes red.. Nice plan indeed..Gg out, increase the chances of seeing her wif that guy again...

Nah, i'm a very unforgiving person.. i really can't imagine, y was i having to face such unforgivable matters.. 1st r/s, oso hav to forgive a person who changed her heart.. 2nd r/s, faced the situation even more times.. Many things which can;t be forgived.. i have to learn to 4give it.. ended up, 4giving so many times, is a mistake.. she still do the same thing again.. Nxt time, whoever who cheated behind me, its over.. no more a 2nd chance..

Ytd, 2nd sis come my hse wif her baby daughter, so is big sis n her daughter..wa.. she question me of her too... So i hurried out of the hse, to escape the questions.. i noe time will reveal everything, but i just dun wish to say anything now.. Think their impression of her was gd..but they didn;t even noe what are the things that happened in this r/s, which always involve 3 people..

So i find some reason n left the hse.. Anyway ltr is mahjong session! Dun think so much.. if i can't find a lady who truly loves me, i rather not hav her, than making myself so miserable, like now.. Damn all those sweet talks of true love, which were so unreal..

bubbles of sadness.

*10:39 AM .

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

How can i not love you (Lyrics)

Cannot touch, cannot hold, cannot be to~gether..
Cannot love, cannot kiss, cannot love ea~ch other..
Must be strong, and we must let go, cannot say what our hearts must know.

How can i not love you, what do i tell my heart, when do i not want you,
here in my heart..
How does one walks away, from all the memories,
how do i not miss you, when you are gone..

Cannot dream, cannot share, sweet and tender~ moments..
Cannot feel, always feel, must pretend its~ over..
must be brave, and we must go on~..must not say, what we know all along,

How can i not love you, wat do i tell my heart, when do i not want you,
here in my heart..
How does one walks away, from all the memories,
How do i not miss you, when you are gone..
How can i not love you...

Must be brave, and we must be strong~
Cannot say what we know all along..

How can i not love you, wat do i tell my heart, when do i not want you,
here in my heart..
How does one walks away, from all the memories,
How do i not miss you, when you are gone..
How can i not love you...
When you are gone.......

bubbles of sadness.

*11:00 AM .

Restless Night...

What i said came true again.. I dreamt of her..This time is me chasing after her in a cab.. Curved road..i went to 1 of the road, crazy enough to stand in the middle, using my body to block the path, prepared to stop any cars..a cab came, not her inside,i let the car past me.. I waited very long, the cab she's in, nv showed up.. I begin to suspect there's other way the vehicle can pass..ended up i begin to think my analysis was rite.. there was other path..

However, there she came out from the path.. she intentionally waited for me to leave the path.. THe cab driver said this is a way to shun me off.. I chase...the car just gets smaller n smaller from my view.. Till it disappear...I must not get so serious in a r/s anymore.. end up hurting myself so badly, while she just moved off to another guy's arm.. Only the girl who can prove my love worthy, wif her true love, shall receive my complete love..

It takes a very long time to move on from a broken r/s when true love is involved.. yet it takes nothing to move on from a broken r/s to enter another r/s wif such a shallow love.. its neither romeo or juliet's love story.. nor any other love stories which i envied.. just a r/s which isn't worth experiencing it.. another nite.. I pray that i won't dream abt her again..

I dunno how to answer my family.. I fear to face the question.. Each time such question comes out from my family, outsiders who noes abt us, such questions of where's ur gf? Haven't seen her for a ver long time. Its CNY, she's coming to bian nian? Such awkful questions reached my ears, my mouth seems dried up, coarse.. I couldn;t speak.. i felt muted..

All i can do is act.. act irritated.. She's overseas.. go malaysia to bai nian.. or watever craps i can think off.. I really dunno how to answer such questions.. I pray that i won;t have to answer such questions..just let it go silently wifout anybody noticing it.. wifout anyone rmb abt such person.. awkfully painful n sick... i wish i can start blogging those happy moments of mine, rather than blogging all these sadness..

Valentine day is approaching.. Cheers to singlehood.. I'm gonna stayed at hm to have those female anime as my gf, to cele this day..However, i fear my family will ask me question again.. dun wish to go outside n see so many couples tog which made my eyes red.. dun wish to be reminded of her.. let alone, dun wish to hurt my eyes n heart, to see her wif that guy again...tough decision..go out or dun go out...

bubbles of sadness.

*10:42 AM .

Monday, February 09, 2009

A Terribly Broken heart is so hard to mend?

Today happened something which came out of my expectation.. I knew i can't slp again.. Hence decided to come here to pour my heart out..Dec 26, 2008.. Its only 1 mth plus have passed.. It seems super long that i'm officially single.. Y do i feel that its so long? Cuz in my own theory, either 1 of the half will find a new partner after a previous r/s has ended for quite a long time.. But she has managed to find a new replacement so fast that it just makes me feel that our r/s has ended for a very long time..

Hmm time is really miserably slow.. I have dreamt of her for for a few nights..Which i hope i dun, each day i slp.. Waking up from the dream seems terribly worst than having a nitemare.. those thorns n sarcastic remarks of hers, in real life, i experienced them a lot.. ended up, it even came to my dreams to haunt me as well.. In the dream, it seems so real.. I'm having a backache, i'm puzzled why she's there to massage my back for me?

In the dream, my sub conscious mind is still there.. it speaks what my heart wants to speak.. everything seems so real.. I asked her about the guy who comes into our r/s, to bring her away.. yes, she lied beside me as usual, n said everything hard on my face.. so straight.. as though ntg was wrong.. they were tog,happily.. Then y is she stil massaging my back..

I turn my back away n woke up in a teary eyes.. Y am i still tearing? I still can't stop myself day after day, for searching any signs of her.. everywhere online, wanting to find out a single trace of her, but its gd.. I found ntg as days goes by. From Msn, to facebook, to even friendster..to her frd's blog.. Such traces goes disappearing day by day..though each time i c it, each time my heart really tore apart again...

That disgusted pic which i saw in that guy's facebook.. I felt utterly disgusted.. TImes after times i went to Amk Hub, for movie..For other activties to places where i know she went, i prayed hard that i won't saw her..esp when i knew that she'll be with that guy.. I told myself now that she got a car to ride on, provided by that guy, so chances of seeing her at public transport will be lowered.Of cuz, got free ride, why not?

Today i went wif william as usual to amk hub to catch a movie..I purposely choose the timing to be afternoon, the safest time where i won;t have the chance to c her in the cinema.. Watched Underworld 3.. Movie turns out not bad as usual, n as i was happily gg down the escalator wif wil, surprisingly something tells me not to take the lift, i immediately saw her on the 1st floor..

Of cuz its not her alone.. WHo else? Its that guy beside her.. They were queuing at the citibank there, waiting for the Axn.. To think of it, the times back, gg to the axn wif her, is for 2 purpose..Settling her bills or planning a holiday trip.. Immediately, this 2 possibility came to my mind.. Well of cuz such a short time, its not a surprise that they were gg for a short trip..

In such a short time, anything have already happened.. Not surprised gg for a short trip tog is another shocking thing i can;t expected.. i managed to dodge away without her noticing it wif wil.. of cuz she n that guy were too happily engrossed wif some brochure she was looking at.. Wil guess its some trip promo thingy.. Anyway watever.. the guy was like happily talking to her.. Of cuz he did looked at the escalator direction.. Since that guy doesn;t recognise me, whatever i cared..

Nv expect the nitemare came thru this time.. It just simply sucks.. how disgusting it is.. Anyway i have seen the ugly side of everything.. I'm a coward so? Yeah i dare not face them.. Why shld i be the 1 hiding? She didn't even have any guilt at all, so y shld i be hiding away?Even if she is guilty or shld be guilty, i shld b strong enough..

Just like some other guys or gals, who saw that their ex, who dumped them for another partner on the street, they stood courageous n smile at them.. I really admire such act which i can't do it..Its not a smile of envy, or blessing the new couple. Its a smile which the new couple shld be awkwardly faced.. esp the person who dump.. I smile which carries a meaning, Oh, look an ex gf who used to be a part of my life, every memories which happened, now its another person repeating the old process which i used to when i'm with my ex.. Haha evil thoughts..Such smile is formidable.. ended up, i'm such a weakling..

All i do is just walked away quietly n heartaching.. It just sucks.. wat a terrible day i have been thru... It actually came true...I saw it wif my very own eyes..The cruelty of human beings..How heartless n complex a human can be.. Human are actually the most scariest creature on earth, as much as how normal humans can look.. i have seen 1 of the most ugliest sight of a human can be..Be it Woman, or man.. Not only man r the evil ones.. it oso applies to woman too..

bubbles of sadness.

*11:16 PM .

Sunday, February 08, 2009

Claymore : Half human, Half Yoma (Demon)

Just finish watching the anime of Claymore.. This anime caught my attention right from the beginning of 1st episode..I assumed that it has 100+ episode, ended up it actually ends at 26.. Short indeed..The story line was gd..but it ended abruptly.. Hmm human loving a half human, half Yoma.. How can that be imagined? If i'm raki, the young boy, would i follow this claymore till the end?

A brief summary of the anime.. Claymore are females who eat yoma flesh n become half human, half yoma, possessed with yoma powers.. Yoma are creatures which killed human in a terrible way.. they hav the ability to disguise themselves into human form n mixed wif the humans n slaughter their prey for food, guts (which i known it as organs in a human body..

Claymore comes from a organisation set up, which charges ppl who hire them to terminate the yoma.. The lead female Claymore, named Clare, she is not a normal breed of Claymore. But she actually become a Claymore by drinking her beloved Teresa's blood, who is the most powerful Claymore during her generation..Clare's family were killed by yoma n Teresa happened to save her life n being homeless, Clare becomes Teresa's follower..

In an incident, while trying to protect Clare, Teresa accidentally killed some human bandits..but due to the organisaton n its ridiculous rule, a Claymore who killed humans, regardless of what reasons, will be terminated..Teresa decided to desert the organisation n lead a run away life wif Clare..The organisation send several strong Claymore to chase after Teresa..

During a fight, prisilla, a new appointed CLaymore holding no 2 position, still young n became a CLaymore wif a sad story..She watched a yoma, her dad, eating her own sister's body..She killed her own father.. joined the organisation due to the hatred of Yoma..during the battle wif Teresa, she suffered n anger cuz her Yoma powers to hit a limit, which ended up Awakened her Yoma powers, which turned her into a YOma as well, but this form was created where Claymore, who exceeded the limits, n can;t revert themselves back to the human form.They are called the awakened ones..Much more power than a normal yoma..

Organisation despatch Claymore to kill those awakened beings.. Prisilla became 1 n managed to kill the unawared Teresa's hand n sliced her head off, rite in front of Clare's eyes..Hence Clare decided to be a Claymore in search for Prisilla to avenge for Teresa's death.. That's where she met Raki, a young boy, who lost his fmaily to yoma.. Raki has no where to go n follow Clare (now grown up) to wherever she has tasked to do..

THere were joys n laughters along the way, oso heart breaking scenes.. They also got parted in some episodes n finally get back tog.. Despite being a Half Human, half creature, Raki still loves her..so does Clare who landed Raki a kiss b4 they parted reluctantly..Well in this world, if humans have become so hideous in their heart, would u rather be wif a Claymore, than wif a real human like Raki? if i were to ask myself this, i would consider following Raki's path...

Despite how tough the days were, times spent were memorable.. Of cuz, raki's though weak physically, he's able to control Clare from Awakening her Yoma's power.. The power of love is still greater haha.. Anyway ending was happy for a romance story, but abit abrupt.. If any readers were interest to view the anime, i would strongly recommend my readers..

However, warning that the anime is quite gruelsome..with body of humans tore apart, guts n organs being eaten by yoma, limbs n hands being cut off.. Just like watching R21 movie, or M18, with such horrible scenes.. But i must say i love the story line, esp the romance part..The anime i can found is in Youtube. TO start, search for Claymore Episode 1 English Subbed. it comes in 3 parts for each episode.. Jap voice, wif English sub title..

bubbles of sadness.

*12:30 AM .

Thursday, February 05, 2009

Chobits : Robot or Human?

Well after watching this anime, which i took a long time to complete as the episodes were very difficult to find. Its a nice anime though.. brought me to some thoughts.. 1 of the lines in the anime, sets deep inside my heart..persecon (Robots) have some ways which can provide for the human, which a real human can't provide.. Likewise, human have things which a persecon can't replace a human..Tough decision isn't it?

Hmm i haven't really thought of wat a persecon can do for a human, wat a human can't.. having a persecon can comes in handy in many ways,like technological helps, telephone, navigation, working, cooking, replacing some task which a human can do.. in the anime, there were ppl who choose to be wif a persecon, n move away from a human partner whom they love.. many hearts were broken..

Well 1 think i can think of, persecon can't reproduce, which will reduce the birth rate in the country haha.. Well the persecons inside really behave like a human being, except for the pair of eletronic ear if i can call it.. plugs can be pulled from inside n connected to a socket or television set etc..rest of the appearance, it looks just like a normal human being..

Well at my present state, a persecon looks much more loyal n faithful than a normal human being.. it can be progammed in anyway which u wan it to behave, in terms of feelings, behaviour, character etc.. Interesting..but of cuz best is the chobits which is a special persecon which hav a feelings n emotions of herself. but she's willing to do anything for her owner whom she loved.. In the end, the anime was a happy ending. the owner, a human, love the chobits (Chii), They love each other n the ending has moved my heart..

bubbles of sadness.

*10:29 PM .

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